Lev Echad

Who is Wise?

2012-01-25T01:25:00.000-07:00

"Who is wise? One who learns from every person."
- Ben Zoma, Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers 4:1)

Throughout the existence of the Jewish people, we have long been enamored with intelligence. Just look at the disproportionate amount of Jews who have been awarded the Nobel Prize. However, intelligence by itself is not a supreme value; it can be used for either good or evil. Thus, the Talmud tells us, "The purpose of wisdom is to bring about repentance and good deeds" (Berachot 17a). In other words, if we're not using our minds to try to become better people, our intelligence really doesn't amount to much at all. Furthermore, Ben Zoma's excerpt from Pirkei Avot alludes to the fact that while a person's intellectual capacity is innately limited, wisdom can be attained by anyone. A wise person is not someone who graduated first in their class, but rather someone who is constantly trying to learn.

A person who genuinely values wisdom will seek to attain it wherever it can be found, regardless of the source. Although some people go out of their way to avoid learning from someone with whom they disagree, this will not lead to wisdom. Notice how Ben Zoma states, "One who learns from every person"; he does not mention any particular type of person. Even when dealing with people who are wrong or evil, at the very least, we can always learn what not to do. We should never limit our pursuit of knowledge to only those who are liberal or conservative, or religious or secular, or even only fellow Jews, but rather we should aim to learn from all kinds of people.

A recent example can be found in none other than Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow. It seems as though everyone has been talking about this guy, for better or for worse. Even Aish.com has published an article about what we can learn from Tebow. Regardless of whether one happens to be a sports fan, there is much to learn from this public figure, such as humility, decency and gratitude to God. And we can do so in spite of his flawed theology. Opportunities abound to gain knowledge from people of all walks of life, famous or not. We can take advantage of those opportunities by trying to implement their positive character traits into our own lives.

Perhaps this simple principle of learning from all types of people can remind us that there is infinite value in every human being. Each individual is uniquely created by God and possesses some type of quality from which we can learn. If this is the case for everyone, including non-Jews, how much more so should we learn from - and be good to - each other. Nitpicking all the personal differences we have with fellow Jews is not wise and can easily lead to indecent treatment of those individuals. As the verse from Tehillim states, "Reishit Chochmah Yirat Hashem" - wisdom begins with the fear of God (Psalms 111:10). And what is the primary demand of this all-powerful God (as articulated by Hillel and Rabbi Akiva, among others)? To act decently toward one another.

Lost in Translation

2011-12-29T01:49:00.002-07:00

Sometimes, Hebrew phrases aren't accurately translated. The picture above is an indication of this phenomenon. Inaccurate translations appear not only on road signs in Israel, but also in English versions of the Torah. One such example can be found in the third of the Ten Commandments. The common translation reads, "Do not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain" (Exodus 20:7). This is generally understood as a prohibition against using God's name for no reason or with an expletive. However, the verse continues, "for the Lord will not absolve" someone who commits this sin - something which is not mentioned for breaking any of the other commandments. Is using God's name in poor taste truly unforgivable, or is something being lost in translation?

Dennis Prager points out that the Hebrew ("Tisa") actually means, "Do not carry the name of the Lord thy God in vain." In other words, we are not allowed to act inappropriately in God's name. This slight change in translation makes a big difference. While not taking God's name in vain can be derived from this commandment, it is not the essence of the prohibition. The clearest way of understanding this sin is through recent history. Although all terrorism is evil, terrorist acts committed in the name of God are particularly evil. This is why Islamic terrorism is so vile; they claim that God condones their behavior. Similarly, any Jew who does something false or evil in God's name has engaged in an unspeakable act.

One of the great burdens of being Jewish is that we are humanity's most direct representatives of God. As a result, our actions carry added weight. Whether we realize it or not, even the most mundane daily activity can turn into either a Kiddush Hashem (sanctification of God's name) or a Chilul Hashem (desecration of God's name). We must always keep this in mind due to the significance of this commandment. In addition to God's warning in the Torah, it states in Pirkei Avot, "...unintentional or intentional, both are alike regarding the desecration of God's name" (Ethics of the Fathers 4:5). In other words, making God look foolish under any circumstances is a serious offense.

Unfortunately, events in the news reveal that this commandment is violated all too often. The harassment of a girl in Beit Shemesh for not dressing "modestly enough" is just one example. The more religious or outwardly apparent a Jew is, the greater the responsibility they have to avoid desecrating God's name. Furthermore, anyone who thinks that Bein Adam Lamakom (the relationship between man and God) is separate from Bein Adam Lachaveiro (the relationship between man and other people) forgets a simple bit of logic. What does a parent care about more: how people treat them or how people treat their children? Every loving parent would answer with the latter. Wouldn't God have a similar response? The next time we think a fellow Jew isn't "religious enough," remember that Bein Adam Lachaveiro is also part of Bein Adam Lamakom.

As God's chosen people, it's no wonder that we are commanded to take extra care in how we carry His name. From something as simple as a transaction at a grocery store to something as difficult as dealing with ideological opponents, we aren't just representing ourselves. Despite the arduous nature of this commandment, we can view it as not simply a burden but also an opportunity. Just as desecrating God's name through bad behavior is among the worst sins a Jew can commit, sanctifying God's name through good behavior is among the greatest deeds a Jew can perform.

"Therefore Was a Single Man Created"

2011-12-19T22:35:00.000-07:00

"Therefore was a single man created, to teach us that whoever takes a single life it is as though he destroyed an entire world, and whoever saves a single life it is as though he saved an entire world. It is also meant to foster peace between people, because no one can boast to his neighbor: 'My ancestor was greater than your ancestor.'"
- Mishnah, Sanhedrin 4:5

Human nature can be quite ugly. One of its worst manifestations occurs when we focus on all the petty differences between each other instead of real good and evil. All one has to do is observe the behavior of children to know this is true. Kids will often go out of their way to pick on the child who is overweight, clumsy or a poor student, and ridicule them to almost no end. Even among adults, subjectively deciding whether to treat certain individuals decently can become a trend that is hard to break. However, this problem can be corrected if the proper perspective is kept in mind.

As opposed to many ideologies throughout history, Judaism emphasizes the importance of the individual. As the Mishnah above indicates, this can be deduced from the fact that God began the creation of human beings with one man. Had Adam died, the entire world would have perished with him. Therefore, the Sages conclude that each human being - created in the image of God and descended from Adam - is as valuable as an entire world. Later in the same Mishnah, we are taught that every individual is also unique. As opposed to coins that are minted exactly the same, God makes every individual with distinct qualities. Thus, every individual is important and unlike anyone else who was ever created.

Unfortunately, non-moral reasons are still used by some as a rationale for treating people differently: rich and poor, religious and secular, liberal and conservative, black and white. People can fall under any of these categories and be good, or can fall under any of these categories and be bad. This is why class, racial and religious warfare is both morally wrong and dangerous. It takes factors into account that have nothing to do with good and evil. If some individuals were considered more or less valuable, there would be be different ethical codes for different people. Yet, this is not the case. Everyone is accountable for their own behavior, regardless of any "category" they happen to fall under.

This Mishnaic excerpt provides the quintessential response to anyone who claims that certain types of people are superior or inferior to others. Since all people descend from the same person, we are all related. There is no moral justification for dividing people based upon race or prominence or wealth. All of creation can be traced back to one God, and all of humanity can be traced back to one person. The very word for people in Hebrew is bnei adam (lit. children of Adam) - a subtle reminder that we all descend from one man, the first human ever created by God.

While primary importance is to be placed on how we treat fellow Jews (because goodness, like charity, should start at home), it should obviously extend to others with whom we come into contact. After all, Abraham - not Adam - was the first Jew, and yet the Sages remind us that all humanity descended from Adam. All people (unless actively pursuing harm against other people) are invaluable. Given the difficult times in which we live, heeding this simple Mishnaic teaching is as important as ever. It would spare us all a lot of trouble and pave the way toward the kind of world God truly desires.

When Telling the Truth is Wrong

2011-12-01T01:18:00.000-07:00

It is widely known that lying is a character trait we should avoid. As the Torah states, "distance yourself from falsehood" (Exodus 23:7). This might lead one to conclude that it's always permissible to say something that is true. However, are there times when telling the truth should also be avoided? Rabbi Joseph Telushkin poses this question - as well as a challenge:

Do you think you can go an entire day without speaking negatively of another person - even when what you're saying is true? Of course, this is easier said than done (no pun intended), but it's something that has the capacity to improve a person's character. If you happen to fail in avoiding unfair speech all of the time, it only proves that you're human. But if you're not even successful in avoiding unfair speech some of the time, it doesn't reflect well on your character.

The most important part of this whole idea is to imagine ourselves on the receiving end of our own conduct (i.e. follow the golden rule). Unless there is an objectively constructive purpose for saying something negative about another person, it is better left unsaid. A red flag should always be raised when we begin to rationalize as to why it's okay to speak ill of others. After all, rationalizing is nothing more than rational lies - and we are compelled to distance ourselves from such behavior.

The Tebow Effect

2011-11-22T22:15:00.000-07:00

Tim Tebow is an anomaly - in more ways than one. Although he plays quarterback for the Denver Broncos, he seems to run as much as he passes. (For those of you not familiar with the National Football League, a quarterback traditionally throws the ball much more than he runs with it.) And when he does throw, he has an unorthodox throwing motion. As a result, many sports analysts dislike him as an NFL quarterback. But the criticism doesn't end there. You see, Tebow is also a religious Christian whose values influence his conduct both on and off the field. As a result, many people dislike him as a person.

Just to be clear, this blog in no way endorses any theology other than that of Judaism, but it also focuses on common decency. One of the unique aspects of Judaism is that the Torah compels us to focus on this world - not on the afterlife, as well as on good behavior - not on ideological agreement. Therefore, it seems quite fitting to address the hatred directed at this young man as a way of learning how to behave more appropriately. As will be noted, the kind of hatred taking place here is nothing new, but it's also something that needs to be eliminated.

One of the most destructive character traits is to hate someone for who they are. In fact, this was precisely the kind of behavior that led to the destruction of ancient Jerusalem. It's called sinat chinam. While the common translation of sinat chinam is "baseless hatred," it can also mean "hatred of their grace." In other words, every individual is endowed with a certain "grace" (i.e. distinct personality traits that make them who they are). As long as that individual acts ethically, there's no justification to hate that which makes them unique - whether it's their level of religiosity or simply their choice of profession. Ultimately, this kind of hatred is an affront to God because He created the uniqueness of that individual.

With so much real evil to hate in the world, it's absurd to critique all the subjective differences that exist among people of goodwill. In this case, Tebow's theology may be wrong, but his behavior and values are right. In a day and age in which professional athletes tend to focus on themselves, here is a guy who wants to focus on God and others. For some reason, placing God and goodness at the forefront has become an anachronism. The personal hatred directed at Tebow isn't occurring because he's doing something wrong - it's occurring because he's doing something right.

It may seem odd that a Jew is writing favorably about a Christian, but it really shouldn't be that way. If we were to actually start making moral judgments of behavior rather than petty remarks about our differences, we will have taken a giant leap toward a better world. Theological disagreements have their place, but they are not the be all and end all. From the Jewish perspective, what God desires more than anything else is goodness. In order to achieve that end, we need to inculcate good values - the most important of which is to act decently toward one another. And while good interpersonal behavior should always start at home (i.e. between fellow Jews), it should never end there.

[By the way, if you ever wondered why orange and blue was the color scheme of this blog, here's your answer: GO BRONCOS!!!]

"And Everybody Hates the Jews"

2011-11-09T01:45:00.001-07:00

Well, they never said that anti-Semites were smart. Apparently, the man in the picture above has a deep hatred for beverages - and spelling. In order to clarify his hatred, notice the word he added in parenthesis. But as Martin Luther King, Jr. said upon hearing a Harvard student launch a tirade against Zionists: "When people criticize Zionists, they mean Jews. You're talking anti-Semitism." Of all the minority groups on earth, and of all the easy targets to use as scapegoats, it is virtually always the Jewish people who take the brunt of the world's wrath. Whenever there is economic, political or social turmoil (and for many in the Arab world, when there is a natural disaster), it is somehow our fault.

From ancient to modern times, anti-Semitism has been a constant. Every major villain in Tanach sought to rid the world of Jews; Hitler considered the extermination of Jewry as more important than victory in World War II; the United Nations has spent more time on resolutions against Israel than any other country on earth; the Occupy Wall Street movement (although consisting of some sincere protesters) has been endorsed by radical groups that shift the blame to Jews. The list goes on and on.

Consciously or subconsciously, when people go out of their way to pick on Jews and Israel, they're acknowledging that the Jews are God's chosen people. Although there are times when rational explanations for anti-Semitism may hold true, there has to be something much deeper to the world's obsession with a single group. The bottom line is that there is one God, He demands ethical behavior, and His chosen vehicle for this message is the Jewish people. Most people aren't comfortable accepting this, so they take it out on the messenger (even when many of the messengers don't care for the message either).

All this Jew-hatred can become quite frustrating, but it might be best to simply laugh about it. There's a satirical song from the 1960s that wittingly demonstrates the ubiquitous nature of anti-Semitism. In it, Tom Lehrer mocks something called National Brotherhood Week. Be sure to listen closely because there's a great line that sums up this whole subject:

Anti-Semitism is absurd, but so is intra-Jewish hatred. So the next time you have trouble with a fellow Jew, do your best to keep things civil - because we're all in this together, whether we like it or not. Don't wait for the next libel or event to unite us. Eventually, the day will come when God will bless the entire world with peace. In the meantime, just try to laugh at all the craziness taking place.

Note: This blog post has been brought to you by the International Zionist Conspiracy.

What is Goodness?

2011-10-27T22:17:00.000-06:00

Given that this blog focuses on increasing goodness between Jews, perhaps some clarity on goodness is warranted. Its importance is stressed throughout many of my posts, but there's usually not much elaboration. So what exactly is goodness? Obviously, a smile, kind word or helping hand would fall under this category. However, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that anything that makes us feel good is goodness. Therefore, there has to be a more objective definition from a more reliable source.

People of different political ideologies and religious backgrounds have come up with very different ways of defining what is good. On the one hand, there are secular individuals who claim that goodness is about having certain political positions or protecting the environment. On the other hand, there are religious individuals who claim that goodness is about ritual observance or sexual purity. As a result, it's easy to be confused as to what goodness actually is. Yet, there is a very simple explanation offered by God via the prophet Micah:

"It has been told to you, O man, what is good, and what God requires of you: only to act justly, love kindness, and walk humbly with your God." (Micah 6:8)

Here are the three characteristics mentioned in the verse, with some elaboration:

Justice - do what is right, regardless of whether it happens to benefit your "team"; we must be ethical people who judge behavior instead of socioeconomic status, political affiliation or level of religiosity.

Kindness - the Hebrew term used here is ahavat chesed, which means more than being merciful by doing kind deeds; we should train ourselves to love doing acts of kindness.

Humility - if we are certain that God is always on our side, it's easy to become arrogant and cruel; it's important not to look down upon others while striving to live righteously.

Notice that the common denominator among all of these attributes is how we treat other people. God is primarily concerned with interpersonal decency and character development. Also notice how the verse states "only" these three qualities. The prophets consistently affirm that while Bein Adam La'Makom (the relationship between man and God) is extremely significant, it is not as important as Bein Adam La'Chaveiro (the relationship between man and other people). Unfortunately, too many people haven't yet made God's top priority their top priority.

A good example of someone who embodied God's definition of goodness is Rabbi Aryeh Levin. Confidants of Rabbi Levin have explained that he viewed life's main purpose as helping others. If a few days passed without an opportunity to give someone advice, charity or just a kind word, he started to wonder if his existence on earth was no longer needed. Furthermore, Rabbi Levin never felt that the people he helped owed him anything. In fact, he felt indebted to them. Thus, he treated everyone fairly and mercifully without ever boasting about it.

So there you have it. Although fulfilling God-based goodness can be difficult, understanding what it entails is rather simple: act justly, love kindness and remain humble. If we all followed these three basic qualities, the world would be a better place.

The Three Levels of Conversation

2011-10-18T01:19:00.000-06:00

"Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people."
- Author unknown (although it's often attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt)

Some people take this proverb to mean that there are gradations of intellect revealed through our topics of conversation. Yet, what this saying truly demonstrates isn't how smart someone is, but rather what kind of person they are. The things we talk about reveal a great deal about our character.

Great people think for themselves, take the initiative when there's a problem, and aren't bothered by the negative things others say about them. Thus, they usually talk about ideas. Average people won't take the initiative to come up with new ideas, but will discuss subjects once they're already out there. Thus, they usually talk about events. Small people take the lowest road of all by talking about neither ideas nor events but other people. Consciously or not, they are using their energy to take others down instead of propping themselves up.

At one time or another, all of us have probably engaged in each type of conversation. After all, nobody is perfect and it's difficult to maintain lofty topics of discussion. Nevertheless, the more noble our conversations are, the less likely we will be to denigrate or otherwise harm someone else. As you climb higher up the levels of conversation, there tends to be an improvement in character and a deflation of ego; and the lower you go, the easier it becomes to be cruel and self-centered.

Throughout the Jewish calendar, there are all sorts of social gatherings that take place, from Shabbat and holiday meals to weddings and school dinners. During these get-togethers, it's important to remember how a single remark about another person can cause a great deal of trouble. Just as one positive comment can improve someone's reputation, one negative comment can ruin their future. So when in doubt, try to avoid talking about other people. It's a lowly activity at best and a destructive practice at worst.

That old mantra really does ring true: think before you speak. Not only should we consider our words carefully, but we should also consider the topics we talk about. If that sometimes means keeping quiet or overtly changing the subject, so be it. It's better to do what is right than to worry about self-image. And in case you happen to have been on the wrong end of someone else's conversation, don't sweat it. There is another instructive proverb (and it also happens to be attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt):

"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do."

Israel, Apartheid and Unity

2011-10-05T00:45:00.000-06:00

Throughout history, there have been many false allegations made against the Jewish people and the Jewish state. One of the most recent contends that Israel is a systematically racist country. The very accusation wreaks of ignorance and anti-Semitism. But since most of the world is either antagonistic toward Jews or doesn't know any better, a thoughtful response is necessary. Here is a good one:

From the old libel that Jews used blood in matzah to the modern libel that Israel is racist, we are compelled to defend our values and our people. Yet, if these malicious claims are a reminder of anything, it should be that Jewish unity can - and will - eventually happen. It's only a matter of whether we decide to do so under our own volition or if we will be forced to do so because of the tactics of our enemies. One way or another, our petty quarrels can easily be cast aside.

God has interesting ways of reminding us that we are all part of the same people. Despite the deep religious, political and personal divisions that have transpired over the years, all it takes is one extreme event (or libel) to bring us back together. As Herman Wouk writes in This Is My God (first edition (1959), page 265): "No matter how bitter the differences are over day-to-day method–and the bitterness now and then rises near the red line of civil commotion–the aim is one, and the people in extremity become one."

Jewish infighting is old, almost always counterproductive, and usually about a bunch of egoistic nonsense. Let's leave the strife and divisiveness to our enemies, and pursue interpersonal decency among ourselves. We can respectfully disagree over particular religious or political methods without forgetting the big picture (i.e. the survival of Jewry and ethical monotheism). There is no need to exacerbate our personal and national problems. Jews in general - and Israelis in particular - have enough to deal with.

Are You a Hero?

2011-09-20T21:30:00.003-06:00

Last week, Dakota Meyer was awarded the Medal of Honor. He is the first living Marine to be given the distinction for actions in Iraq or Afghanistan. He saved 36 lives when he disregarded orders and put his life on the line to save others. Despite suffering a shrapnel wound in his arm, he repeatedly ran through heavy enemy fire to rescue both American and Afghan troops. Meyer's death-defying heroism puts him in a category of his own. However, according to Jewish wisdom, the definition of a hero is not limited to such incredible bravery.

In Pirkei Avot, Ben Zoma goes through a famous set of simple questions and answers. Among them is, "Who is a hero? He who subdues his personal inclination, as it is written (Proverbs 16:32), 'He who is slow to anger is better than a strong man, and a master of his passions is better than a conqueror of a city'" (Ethics of the Fathers 4:1). The Hebrew term he uses, gibor, can be translated as either "strong" or "hero." What truly separates the strong from the weak has nothing to do with physical power or professional prowess; it's all about strength of character.

In reality, a heroic act takes place whenever someone overcomes their inclination to do something wrong. This is especially the case with regard to interpersonal conduct. After all, ritual sins only require forgiveness from God, whereas interpersonal sins first require forgiveness from the person who was wronged. While it's always a good idea to try to control our yetzer hara (evil inclination) and treat other people well, it's particularly important to do so during this month of Elul as we get closer to Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

The world is upside down. People often look for heroes via politics and popular culture, but they will generally come up empty-handed. As Dennis Prager puts it, "the famous are rarely significant, and the significant are rarely famous." Yet, heroic individuals are all around; people just don't know where to look. It doesn't always have to entail some life-saving, out-of-this-world act, such as that of Dakota Meyer. And it certainly has nothing to do with fame.

Most of us lead quiet, unassuming lives. As a result, it's easy to think that our personal successes and failures have no ultimate meaning. But this could not be further from the truth. We learn from the story of Ruth - a woman who struggled to merely find her next meal - that an act as simple as modestly gathering food can have lasting purpose. In Ruth's case, the whole Davidic dynasty descended from her because of her righteous ways. God takes note of all our actions and recognizes the good we do in spite of many difficulties. Never think that your struggles go unrecognized.

When you succeed in subduing bad behavior, the next time you're searching for a hero, simply look in the mirror.

The Red Bandana

2011-09-11T00:20:00.000-06:00

It's hard to believe that ten years have already passed since the horrific events of September 11, 2001. That date is correctly remembered as a day in which unspeakable evil was committed. However, that date should also be remembered as a day in which extraordinary goodness was carried out. Perhaps this dichotomy can best be understood through something as simple as a red bandana.

Cell phone calls made by passengers on at least one of the hijacked planes revealed that terrorists donned red bandanas before taking over the flight. In radical Islamic circles, red bandanas had become a signature of some terrorists in their attacks against Westerners. The clothing represented pure evil.

Contrast those red bandanas with the one worn by a young man named Welles Crowther. His piece of clothing represented pure goodness. If you aren't familiar with his story, this video is well worth watching:

On a day in which terrorists used red bandanas as a symbol of the evil they were about to commit, there was a young man who used a red bandana as a symbol of the goodness he was about to carry out. These polar opposite reasons for wearing the same type of clothing demonstrate that what matters most isn't what we wear, but rather how we act. Although there are times when the clothing makes the man, it's usually the man who gives meaning to the clothing.

Beware of Bad Leaders

2011-09-01T21:33:00.002-06:00

People have come to believe that a leader is simply someone who is charismatic and good-looking. While neither of these qualities disqualify a person from being a leader, they are not as important as they are made out to be. Most external elements - especially physical vanities - are not necessities for leadership. So what exactly do good leaders possess that distinguish them from bad leaders? Well, there are many characteristics, but here's a brief synopsis of the most important.

For one, true leaders don't let their egos get in the way. The less a person cares about their own self-interest and the more they care about God and service to others, the greater they will be. Another characteristic found among true leaders is little to no arrogance. They do something because it is right, and not because it will make them more popular or powerful. True leaders also tend to be people who are fully dedicated to a cause that is greater than themselves.

There is yet another characteristic that is often overlooked: true leaders don't try to turn people into automatons. Rather, they guide others in a way that helps each individual fulfill their unique role in the world. When someone starts to pit white against black, religious against secular, or rich against poor, a red flag should be raised. Such people are doing what is in their own best interest, and the only leading they do is lead people against one another. They fail to understand that everyone has been placed on earth by God for a reason.

As Pirkei Avot states: "Beware of rulers, for they befriend someone only for their own benefit; they act friendly when it benefits them, but they do not stand by someone in his time of need" (Ethics of the Fathers 2:3). This concept generally refers to politicians, but it can extend to anyone who takes advantage of other people for the sake of attaining power. These "leaders" are fickle and unreliable at best, and emulate the ways of some of the worst people who have ever lived.

Despite the fact that most leaders are anything but noble, we should not resign ourselves to the cynical belief that there are no good ones. While healthy skepticism of anyone in a position of authority is imperative, there are still a lot of good leaders out there. We just have to find them. Otherwise, try to be one yourself. As another Pirkei Avot passage states: "In a place where there are no leaders, strive to be the leader" (Ethics of the Fathers 2:6). Nevertheless, keep in mind that the greatest leaders throughout history were those who came to power reluctantly. From Moses to George Washington, the best are those who are humble and do not seek control over others.

It's both sad and upsetting to see people hurt by bad leaders. Perhaps they falsely believed in the person because they had a particular title before their name. Or perhaps they thought that the person was wise because they attended some prestigious school. Or maybe they just got too caught up in their own religious denomination or political affiliation to see what kind of person they were actually following. Whatever the reason, enough is enough. For leaders, like for everyone else, character matters most.

Is Technology Killing Civility?

2011-08-21T22:03:00.001-06:00

The answer to the question above is both yes and no. It really all depends on the way in which people use it. For example, texting during a meal or having a ringtone go off in the middle of a wedding ceremony can be quite disruptive and inconsiderate. People have always found ways to be annoying and/or uncivil. Advances in technology have just made it easier and more common to do so. It's unfortunate that some people think that talking or texting or Tweeting is more important than preserving another person's dignity. People forget that neither they nor their digital devices are the center of the universe.

This particular problem seems to be the product of a powerful combination: technology and human nature. A BlackBerry or iPad is not really the primary culprit. Technology by itself is amoral; it all depends on how and when we use it. Take any advancement or technological progress in human history. A pen and paper are not innately bad, unless they are used to write unfairly about others; a phone is not innately bad, unless it's used to speak lashon hara or interrupt a solemn service.

It's quite ironic how people originally thought that advances in technology would make our lives so much easier. In many ways it has, but in many ways it has not. On the one hand, the speed and amount of information we can absorb at any given time is the highest it has ever been. On the other hand, it was supposed to help people communicate with each other, but miscommunication seems to be more common than ever.

Technological advances to which we have become accustomed are all means to some end; they are not ends in and of themselves. For example, the Internet has the power to connect people to one another, but it can also have the opposite effect. It all depends on whether our online activities help or harm the lives and reputations of other people. We simply have to prioritize our values and focus on the goodness (or lack thereof) that results from our actions.

God created the world in such a way that whatever can be used for good can also be used for evil. Fire and water are great examples; they can either sustain or destroy life. Technology is no different. We just have to remember that it is simply a means - albeit a powerful one - and use it for good. As long as we keep this in mind, our computers and phones will not become false gods, and incivility while using technology will become less commonplace.

The "Altar" Ego

2011-08-08T01:40:00.001-06:00

There is a famous Talmudic excerpt that powerfully illustrates the importance of God-based ethics. The Talmud (Yoma 9b) explains that the destruction of the second Beit Hamikdash (Holy Temple), which we mourn on and around Tisha B'Av, occurred because of sinat chinam (for further analysis of this concept, click here). On the surface, this type of interpersonal hatred was the cause. However, other ideas mentioned on the very same page provide a clearer insight into the root of the problem.

Rabbi Yochanan states, "Better were the fingernails of earlier generations than the intestines of our own generation . . . the Beit Hamikdash was rebuilt for them, and it has not been rebuilt for us." The Vilna Gaon explains that the "fingernails" refer to the external sins of earlier generations, and the "intestines" refer to the internal sins of later generations (including our own). As bad as the sins of the earlier generations may have been, their wrongdoings were transparent and they still acknowledged God's providence. Therefore, when their outward behavior began to go awry, they knew that if they eliminated the specific sins, all would be rectified.

On the other hand, our sins are hidden (i.e. we put our egos first), so there is something deeper we need to correct. While we may express outward displays of holiness, there is still an inward denial of God's omnipotence. In other words, we can make it appear as though we are worshiping God, when in reality we are worshiping ourselves. For example, when we study Torah or pray in synagogue, are these simply acts of self-aggrandizement to show off our intellect and protect our image? Oftentimes, there is something missing for which even a Beit Hamikdash cannot help.

When the Talmud describes that Jews would be "eating and drinking together and piercing each other with swords," it means that although they had meals together, they hated each other in their hearts. As soon as they left a social function, they would speak ill of one another. It was this kind of mentality that led to the destruction of the Beit Hamikdash. All the sacrifices in the world do no good unless they are accompanied by a change of heart. Here is a small sampling of biblical passages, along with brief summaries, addressing this problem of the "altar" ego:

Amos 4:4 - God speaks sarcastically about bringing sacrifices, admonishing people who enjoy doing rituals for their own sake; He only cares for sacrifices if it helps change the person.

Hosea 6:6 - what matters most to God is ethical behavior, not sacrificial offerings.

Isaiah 1:11 - God poses a rhetorical question; He does not need our sacrifices, but rather wants justice and goodness based on faith in God.

Jeremiah 7:21-23 - to "listen to God's voice" means heeding the words of the prophets, who warn us not to rely exclusively on ritual activity to gain God's forgiveness; we will be forgiven only if we mend our ways and act decently.

Micah 6:6-8 - God's primary demands are not about fancy sacrifices, and it can all be summed up succinctly: do what's right, be kind and remain humble.

The rebuilding of the Beit Hamikdash is indeed a worthy goal, but there's something that needs to be corrected first: our hearts. God desires an internal change of self even more than the external rituals of the Temple. This all ties in to the goal of Jewish unity. Forcing others to think a certain way, dress a certain way and observe Judaism a certain way is not real unity - it's our individual egos talking. Instead, each one of us should turn our own hearts toward God and strive for what He truly wants: less ego and more goodness. Then, Jewish unity will take care of itself, as it will be the natural result of heeding this divine call.

Differences in Clothing and Apparel

2011-07-28T00:55:00.000-06:00

"If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture, let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies... It would be a sad situation if the wrapper were better than the meat wrapped inside it."
- Albert Einstein

Archaeologists in Israel recently made a fascinating discovery. During an excavation near the walls of the Old City of Jerusalem, they found an ancient gold bell with a small loop at its top. The item dates back to the end of the Second Temple era, and is thought to have been sewn to the garment of a man of high authority. While archaeologists aren't certain who the bell originally belonged to, they aren't ruling out that it could have been part of the vestments of the Kohen Gadol (as described in Exodus 28:33). From ancient to modern times, and for both spiritual and practical purposes, different Jews have worn different types of clothing.

Today, there is more variety in how we dress than perhaps ever before. Take, for example, something as simple as head coverings for men. Some wear black hats or knitted kippot, while others don a kippah only during prayers or prefer baseball caps. The bottom line is that good character can be found among all sorts of people wearing all sorts of clothing, just as bad character can be found among all sorts of people wearing all sorts of clothing. Even when it comes to one of the most visible acts of Jewish ritual, Tefillin, character is independent of wearing the physical item. Although putting on Tefillin has the potential to awaken a Jew to God, it does not magically make a man good.

Differences in women's clothing and apparel can be even more stark. Some wear the latest fashions, while others prefer to stay away from outfits that elicit too much attention. Dating back to ancient Israel, women's garments were about everything from modesty to style. For example, Tu B'Av (the 15th of Av) was a time when young women could go out into the fields and look for potential mates (contrary to the usual custom). Girls who happened to be poorer would be loaned beautiful dresses so that they wouldn't be embarrassed by going out in unattractive clothing (Taanit 26b). It's important to remember that the reasoning behind what people wear ranges from mood to principle to what they can afford. Therefore, it's worthwhile to give others the benefit of the doubt when we think that what they're wearing is inappropriate or just plain odd.

Some people tend to have a visceral reaction to those who dress a certain way. While it's certainly understandable to try to place others into a particular stereotype (after all, it's virtually impossible to know each person's uniqueness after a quick encounter), we must strive to judge others solely by their overall behavior. What's most important isn't what we wear - it's how we act. Nevertheless, the more apparent we make it to the world that we are identifiably Jewish, the more of a responsibility we have to act appropriately so as not to create a Chilul Hashem (desecration of God's name).

One of the classic cases of clothing being misleading can be found in the story of Joseph. When his brothers finally met up with him in Egypt, they couldn't recognize the person they had once sold. Joseph looked much different than anyone could have imagined, and not just because he grew older and had facial hair, but also due to the fact that he was wearing the royal garments of viceroy. A lesson we can take from an episode like this is to try our best to look beyond the surface and treat others like family, no matter how they dress. You never know who might be behind that suit and tie or jeans and t-shirt.

Our individual styles can either lead to unnecessary strife or demonstrate how pointless it is to argue over vain differences. If everyone dressed and thought alike, life would be very dull. One of the most beautiful sights you'll ever see is when Jews of all walks of life - and all dressed differently - peacefully pray together at the Western Wall. When we're able to treat each other well despite our most visible of differences, we step closer to the day when the Kohen Gadol returns to engage in his Temple service, donned in his unique vestments, golden bells and all.

Dealing with Tragedy

2011-07-19T20:32:00.000-06:00

Unfortunately, Jews are no strangers to tragedy. Last week's horrific murder in New York was another terrible episode, especially due to the fact that the monster who admitted to the crime is Jewish himself. However, that fact is largely irrelevant. There are always going to be bad apples among a group; it is how others respond to those bad apples that defines the group. Through no fault of his own, little Leiby Kletzky asked the wrong guy for directions and landed up in the hands of evil. There is no logical explanation as to why that happened. It's almost reminiscent of the beginning of the Second Intifada when Vadim Nurzhitz and Yossi Avrahami took a wrong turn and also landed up in the hands of evil.

When tragedies like this occur, it's common for people to express their religious convictions by blaming all sorts of things as the root cause, from gossip to gay marriage to the Internet. Sometimes people want answers for unanswerable questions so badly that they're willing to believe almost anything. The bottom line is only God knows. While this may not be an emotionally satisfying response, it's the best we can do given our limited intellect. We must not succumb to playing the blame game. Blame should only be directed at the person who actually committed the crime and/or anyone who explicitly assisted them.

Nobody can know for certain why God allows a particular event to happen. It is all conjecture. Especially due to the fact that we no longer have prophets who can relay direct messages from God, every explanation given for why something occurs is simply a guess. As tempting as it is to provide some sort of divine reasoning, who are we to claim to know why God does something? Turning to God is an important element in dealing with tragedy, but it is also important to refrain from false explanations that can eventually reach the mourners and inflict additional emotional damage. In fact, one of the morals of Iyov (the Book of Job) is precisely about the inscrutability of God's ways.

We learn from Iyov to simply be there for mourners and keep quiet unless prompted to speak. As it states, "They sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spoke a word to him, for they saw how very great was his suffering" (Job 2:13). Only after Job began to speak did his three friends also begin to talk - and that's when further problems ensued. Despite Job blaming God for his fate, the Talmud tells us that a person is not held responsible for what they say while in pain (Bava Batra 16b). But Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar all felt obligated to act as God's defender, and started to give presumptuous explanations as to why tragedies befell Job. God found all the condemnations of Job's friends to be inexcusable (Job 42:7). In fact, God said that He would only forgive them if they first received forgiveness from Job himself.

While divine explanations are beyond our grasp, there can still be practical lessons to come out of terrible events. In this case, if a child looks disoriented or lost, see to it that they contact their parents or the police. It's better to err on the side of caution than to assume a child is safe. If you're ever in such a position and having trouble taking action, think of Leiby. And although the details in this particular case are unclear, if it ever becomes known that a person within your community is violent or sexually abusive, you must speak up before an innocent person gets hurt. As it says in Tehillim (Psalms 97:10), "Ohavei Hashem Sinu Ra" - those who love God must hate evil. Standing on the sidelines when evil rears its ugly head is not an option. It must be confronted.

One of the positives that tends to come out of episodes like these are the displays of Jewish unity. But, hopefully, demonstrations of goodwill are not limited to such situations. We should be striving for good interpersonal relationships regardless of items in the news. It should never have to take some horrific event to unite us.

E Pluribus Unum

2011-07-11T21:38:00.002-06:00

"E Pluribus Unum" is one of the official mottos of the United States. It's a Latin phrase meaning "From Many, One." While it originally suggested that from the many colonies there should emerge a single nation, it has also come to suggest that from the many races, ethnicities and cultures of individual Americans there should emerge a single people. Although this idea of a melting pot is uniquely American, I believe that it ties in quite nicely with Jewish values as well.

Just as the American motto alludes to the fact that it doesn't matter how famous your family was or what your current socioeconomic status is - we are all Americans - the Jewish approach is similar in that it doesn't matter what your family's customs were or what your current denomination is - we are all Jews. And just as it doesn't matter whether you are black or white or liberal or conservative - you are an American - so too, it doesn't matter whether you are Ashkenazi or Sephardic or religious or secular - you are part of the Jewish people.

Unfortunately, intolerance among Jews can be found in all directions. Shortly after Kristallnacht, a Reform synagogue in Rhode Island conducted a special service to which they invited recent Jewish refugees from Europe. Many of those refugees came to the service wearing hats or kippot, which at the time was against Reform practices. A prominent member of the congregation demanded that everyone remove their head coverings. Although the rabbi of the congregation was extremely upset by the man's behavior, he felt too intimidated to do anything.

Similarly, there are some Orthodox Jews who too easily brand their less observant coreligionists as "heretics" or "non-believers." Yet, prominent sages such as Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook and the Chazon Ish have ruled that we live in a time of God's concealment and therefore cannot apply the religious laws concerning heresy to modern-day Jews who question their faith. Furthermore, it is wrong to harm those who deny even Judaism's most basic beliefs. Not only should we not hurt such people, we should help them if the situation ever presents itself.

It takes a considerable amount of humility and tolerance to refrain from forcing our beliefs upon others, but that's exactly what we should strive for. To do so, objective ethical standards must be upheld, while the more subjective areas of life can be left to the individual. It's ironic that people tend to focus so much on the subjective when it is really the objective that matters most. For example, some regard those with whom they disagree politically or religiously as bad people, instead of simply judging their overall behavior to determine what kind of person they are. This needs to change if we are to produce a better world.

One of the unique aspects of Judaism is learning about all the different roads people take that lead them to God and a life of goodness. While this is certainly a fascinating phenomenon, it can also be a great impediment to how we treat one another. Therefore, our goal in life should not be to turn all our fellow Jews into ideological and/or religious replicas of ourselves. Rather, it should be to guide - not force - others into a life of serving God and His children in a way that best matches their individual personality. Then, we will truly represent a motto as great as "E Pluribus Unum."

Questions of the Matchmaker

2011-06-30T21:06:00.000-06:00

There is a story told of Rabbi Shmuel Rozovsky, the legendary head of the Ponevezh Yeshiva. One day a Jew from Jerusalem traveled to Bnei Brak to inquire about a student in the yeshiva as a potential mate for his daughter. The man proceeded to ask Rabbi Rozovsky some questions about the young man: "How many hours a day does he study? Does he follow the yeshiva's study schedule and participate during classes? Does he arrive to prayer services on time? How well does he understand the Talmudic discourses?"

After receiving favorable responses to these questions, he thanked Rabbi Rozovsky and began to leave. Rabbi Rozovsky politely stopped the man and said, "Please allow me to ask you a few questions as well. I see that you are content with the answers you have received because you apparently believe this is all your daughter needs to know. However, I think that your daughter would be very interested in knowing if this student is a decent human being."

Rabbi Rozovsky continued, "It would have been fitting if you had asked me: Are his clothes clean? Is it pleasant to sit next to him? How does he behave in the dining room? Does he thank the kitchen staff for preparing the meals? You've reached the conclusion that he is a great student, but you should ask how he behaves when he enters the dormitory while others are asleep. Does he enter quietly so as not to wake up his roommates? And in the morning, does he make his bed or leave the room a mess?"

"I think," said Rabbi Rozovsky, "that these things would very much interest your daughter. He could turn out to be a spoiled person who doesn't care about his surroundings. What will happen when he comes home in the evening and scoffs at the meal your daughter had worked all afternoon preparing? Will she be consoled by my words in praise of how well he understands the complexities of a Talmudic tractate?"

The matchmaking approach of Rabbi Rozovsky can be utilized in other walks of Jewish life as well. Simply substitute whatever is considered "most desirable" in different Jewish circles, and the same problem arises. For example, some regard a Harvard graduate degree or being a partner in a law firm with the utmost significance. When people start looking for potential spouses based solely on external factors - instead of the person's overall character - something is seriously wrong. While things such as money, looks and success can play a role in the decision, it shouldn't be the primary consideration.

A woman is certainly free to marry a man for his technical knowledge, just as a man can marry a woman for her bank account. But it would be best if they prioritized their values first. So before going out on a date or setting up someone else, it might be worthwhile to ask a simple question:

Is he/she a good person?

Or, more specifically:

How does he/she treat other people?

The Perfect Game

2011-06-21T21:11:00.000-06:00

With all the problems facing the world today, it seems like a good time for an inspirational story that might just help us realize what is most important in life. Namely, it's a reminder of being more cognizant of God's primary demand to act decently toward one another. I recently came across a video that illustrates this point, where a group of boys playing baseball truly had the perfect ending to a game.

Although it's not mentioned in the video below, this story is attributed to Rabbi Paysach Krohn, who personally knows the boy's father and verified the details for accuracy. As a side note, this is not an endorsement of Dr. Wayne Dyer (also, don't mind his mispronunciation of the name of the school). He just happens to be the one retelling the story.

This was a simple act of kindness by a group of boys playing baseball. We should strive to emulate such behavior when we encounter a similar situation. It doesn't always have to involve a learning-disabled child or a baseball game. It can be in any instance where we overcome our personal wants in order to fulfill another person's needs.

Amidst the chaos that is the daily news, people of all walks of life are looking for God. While some think that He cannot be found, they just don't know where to look. God is always present; He's just hidden. It's up to each one of us to act in such a kind and dignified manner that God is invariably revealed to others (and perhaps to ourselves as well).

Silence is Golden

2011-06-13T23:17:00.000-06:00

There is a poignant story told of Rabbi Aryeh Levin. He was once attending prayer services alongside members of the Neturei Karta (a religious anti-Zionist group). When one of those followers noticed Rabbi Levin (who was an admirer and confidant of Rabbi Avraham Yitzchak Kook, an ideological opponent of the Neturei Karta), the man tore the tefillin off Rabbi Levin's head and told him to leave. Rabbi Levin humbly gathered his belongings and left - without saying a word. One of the people who witnessed the event ran after Rabbi Levin and told him how impressed everyone was at how he handled such a public humiliation. He told the man to go back and tell the congregants that he learned how to respond like that from Rabbi Kook.

The Chofetz Chaim quotes a midrash which states that every time a person refrains from engaging in forbidden speech, they merit a hidden light that no angel can fathom. And that midrash is talking about a single moment; one can only imagine what lies in store for a person who can hold back from speaking ill of others on a consistent basis. Obviously, we should strive for good behavior simply because it's the right thing to do. But if you need a little incentive, that's a pretty good one.

Remaining silent has divine origins. The Talmud (Gittin 56b) evokes the praise of God following the Second Temple's destruction as "mi kamocha ba'ilmim Hashem" - "Who is like You among the mute ones O God" (this is a play on words of the phrase "mi kamocha ba'eilim Hashem" - "Who is like You among the mighty ones, O God"). It is referencing how God remained silent in the face of the profane conduct of Titus. This is the Creator of the Universe we're talking about - and it's concerning the destruction of His home on earth - and yet He's willing to exercise restraint! All we have to do is let go of our egos a little bit and try in our own small way to emulate God's characteristics when someone happens to say or do something that personally offends us.

Making our displeasure known with those with whom we disagree is often not worth it. Do we really have to get in our two cents every time we come across some subjective difference with a fellow Jew? Even when someone has objectively hurt us in some way, we have to make sure that our subsequent behavior is constructive. Unless we're fairly certain that rebuking them would have a positive effect, it's best to maintain our composure and simply keep quiet. All we can do is make the best decision based on the information we have at the time. Sometimes we'll still make a poor choice despite thinking before speaking, but at least we'll be more cognizant of our behavior and less likely to hurt someone else.

We have to pick our fights in life. There are times when speaking up is extremely important. For example, when it comes to fighting evil - especially something as serious as radical Islamic terrorism - good people of all stripes must speak out and act. But in the micro realm of life, keeping quiet is usually the best way to go. For example, when it comes to relationships between individuals - especially people we see day in and day out - letting things go is often a wise choice. Routinely following this mode of behavior is a great way to keep the peace. We don't have to be passive; we just have to use some self-restraint.

Our generation greatly values people who speak their minds. In many respects, this has been a positive development. However, a better world will only be achieved when silence is valued just as much - if not more. As the proverbial saying goes, "speech is silver; silence is golden."

In the Service of Others

2011-06-02T00:30:00.001-06:00

Shortly before his death in 1790, Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to Ezra Stiles, president of Yale University. Stiles had asked this founding father of the United States about his personal views on religion. Franklin graciously responded:

"Here is my Creed: I believe in one God, Creator of the Universe. That He governs it by his Providence. That he ought to be worshipped. That the most acceptable Service we can render to him, is doing Good to his other Children. That the Soul of Man is immortal, and will be treated with Justice in another life respecting its Conduct in this. These I take to be the fundamental Principles of all sound Religion, and I regard them as you do, in whatever Sect I meet with them."

The origin of these ideas date back to Abraham, the original monotheist, as well as Hillel and Rabbi Akiva, who elucidated that the primary principle of the Torah is to be good to other people. His words form the essence of what we are on earth to do. Namely, to act decently toward one another. Although Benjamin Franklin was not Jewish, the guiding principles of his life were rooted in Jewish wisdom. Similarly, the founding of the United States is often described as Judeo-Christian. While there is no such thing as Judeo-Christian theology (e.g. Jews don't believe in the divinity of human beings and Christians don't keep kosher), there is such a thing as Judeo-Christian values (i.e. Jewish ideas that have been spread predominately by Christians).

Ironically, Franklin's image is used on the one hundred-dollar bill and often symbolizes our materialistic culture. However, if people were to more closely follow Franklin's creed, there would be far less greed. While there's nothing wrong with pursuing a good economic life (as long as it's done ethically), it can easily be taken to an extreme and destroy us. This is one of the difficult lessons the world in general, and America in particular, is learning during the current economic crisis. We were not created solely to amass wealth; we are here to emulate God's characteristics of bestowal. And each person according to their abilities can do so.

Earlier this week, America celebrated Memorial Day, and Israel recently observed Yom Hazikaron. The service of the men and women in the American and Israeli armed forces has helped spread freedom to millions of people, Jew and non-Jew alike. Those who put their lives on the line - and especially those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice - represent the epitome of service to others. I am humbled to know that some readers of this blog are actively serving overseas or have served in the American or Israeli military. Whether fellow Jews or fellow Americans (or both), thank you for your service.

It's truly inspirational to know people whose lifestyle is modeled to help others, from the soldier abroad to the caring neighbor at home. While it's only human to think of ourselves first, self-centeredness will not lead to a fulfilling life. There's a reason why it feels good to come through for someone else - because that's what God wants from us. At the very least, we must not hurt one another. And at best, we must try to actively help each other. As Albert Einstein put it: "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."

The Real Peace Process

2011-05-25T01:00:00.002-06:00

On this blog, I try my best to steer clear of politics. However, the defense of Israel is an existential issue - not a political one (or at least it shouldn't be). Following their recent meeting, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu explained to President Barack Obama why Israel cannot accept some of his administration's demands. Whether it's the return to the 1967 borders or dealing with the Palestinian refugee problem, Israel cannot be forced to commit suicide.

The "peace process" that is often imposed on Israel is completely disingenuous. There can't be peace if one side in the conflict remains committed to destroying the other side. While this continues to be the central impediment to Israeli-Arab relations, there's a different peace process that has nothing to do with Arabs. It should go without saying, but we can't pit ourselves against fellow Jews to the point where we are out to destroy one another. Otherwise, peace among Jews will be just as impossible as peace with our enemies. Luckily, life and goodness are central to Jewish culture, so the building blocks are there. We just have to cultivate those values.

During each of Israel's wars of survival, individual Jews figured out a way to overcome their differences for the sake of the Jewish people. In 1948, then in 1967, then again in 1973, and yet again during other perilous times, we came together purely for the sake of our brothers and sisters. Religious and political differences were irrelevant. Personal gripes and grudges were cast aside. And then the unity ended . . . until the next war reared its ugly head. There's a pattern here.

It appears as though we're heading for yet another difficult predicament. It's only a matter of time. Most of the world remains against Israel, and some radical groups are actively pursuing the destruction of the Jewish people. So what exactly are we waiting for? Our own peace process should begin long before circumstances on the ground put us in a position where we have no choice. And this time around, our character has to be strong enough to sustain the peace long after the most recent threat to our existence subsides.

The importance of peace is not only logically compelling, but can also be found throughout Jewish literature. Shalom, the Hebrew term for peace, is ubiquitous in Jewish life. Every major prayer ends with it. Every decent person yearns for it. Among other things, shalom is used:

- to conclude the Oral Law

- in the final blessing of Shemoneh Esrei

- to end Birkat Kohanim (Priestly Blessing)

- to end Birkat Hamazon (Grace After Meals)

- as the essential word in our greetings to one another (e.g. "Shalom Aleichem")

- as the last description for the different times of the season (Ecclesiastes 3:8)

Peace must be more than a word. It must be a value we try to inculcate into our lives. It means striving for tranquil interactions with each other - even those with whom we strongly disagree. Differences of opinion are not the primary obstacle; acting indecently because of those differences is. If you happen to find it difficult to overcome a particular disagreement with another Jew, you don't have to force yourself to love them. First, avoid hostility by exercising some self-restraint. Then, over time, work on a more positive attitude. It's a peace process.

Our tradition has it that every nation on earth is designated with a guardian angel - except for Israel. God Himself is the guardian of the Jewish people. While members of the Israel Defense Forces deserve tremendous credit and gratitude, Israel exists "not by might nor by power" (nor by the generous support of the United States), but "by the spirit of God" (Zechariah 4:6). Peace in the Middle East is certainly a laudable goal, but it remains a task that is beyond the scope of any particular government or human being. So what are we, as Jews, to focus on instead? Aim to please an audience of One. And nothing pleases God more than seeing His children at peace with one another.

Halacha is Not Enough

2011-05-17T22:25:00.000-06:00

One of the reasons for the destruction of ancient Jerusalem was that fellow Jews held to the letter of the law. Furthermore, they tried to get whatever they could out of each other legally. As the Talmud states (Bava Metzia 30b), we were exiled because fellow Jews failed to raise their standard of behavior lifnim mishurat hadin - beyond the letter of the law. In other words, people wouldn't cut each other any slack. This is something that God cannot tolerate among His children for very long. Focusing on technical legalisms can destroy a society. Adherence to halacha (Jewish law) is extremely significant, but it cannot become the be all and end all. Something can be legally justifiable and not morally correct.

I know a man who helped bring a secular Jewish woman back to the faith. When they bumped into each other some time later, she told him that she was no longer ritually observant. Surprised, he asked her what had happened. She explained that shortly after becoming Orthodox, she was attending synagogue on Shabbat with her young child, who happens to be mentally handicapped. After the services were over, she walked outside with her son in her arms. A rabbi who passed by told her that there was no eruv in the neighborhood and that she could not lift her child. She was deeply offended by his lack of sensitivity. Was the rabbi halachically right in his observation? Yes. But was he morally right in his conduct? Absolutely not.

There is a famous rabbinic teaching which states "Derech Eretz Kadma La'Torah" - the commandment of good manners preceded the Torah. One interpretation of this phrase is that while the revelation of the Torah occurred at Mount Sinai after the Exodus, the obligation to act with courtesy and civility toward other people dates back to the dawn of humanity. Furthermore, the Ramban comments on the verse "You Shall Be Holy" (Leviticus 19:2) that it's possible to be a Naval Birshut HaTorah - a degenerate within the confines of the Torah. The letter of the law alone is not enough; the spirit of the law must also be considered. As Jews, we are supposed to strive for the highest standard of behavior. Doing what is right often means upholding the values of the Torah beyond its explicit laws, thus sanctifying ourselves and being a blessing to those with whom we come into contact.

Judging other Jews solely by how much they adhere to halacha will only tell you how much they observe halacha. However, reserving judgment solely for the ethical behavior of fellow Jews will tell you a great deal about their character. We can feel passionately one way or the other about halachic observance without regarding with contempt those who don't do so to our satisfaction. Bein Adam La'Makom (the relationship between man and God) is extremely significant, but one's level of ritual observance is the choice of the individual. On the other hand, Bein Adam La'Chaveiro (the relationship between man and other people) must follow a more universal ethical code.

While following halacha is certainly prudent, it does not magically make a Jew a good human being. So what is one to do? In This Is My God (first edition (1959), page 45), Herman Wouk provides some words of wisdom:

"The sensible thing is to use hard thinking to find the right way to live and then to live that way, whether many other people do or few do. If a Jew concludes to enter upon his heritage and make it part of his life, he does an obviously reasonable thing. The chances are that–at least today–he will seem a mighty freakish non-conformist in some neighborhoods; but that is changing too, and anyway, what does it matter? What matters is living with dignity, with decency, and without fear, in the way that best honors one's intelligence and one's birth."

Zionism and Jewish Unity

2011-05-10T01:18:00.003-06:00

I hope the rendition of Hatikvah in the video above was as inspiring for you as it was for me. Yet, not all Jews are inspired by the Jewish State, let alone its national anthem. For an outsider, this seems absolutely preposterous. But for Jews, it's all part of being an opinionated family.

As Israel begins its 63rd year of modern existence, the debates of the founders still echo in the hearts and minds of Jews worldwide. Jews of all persuasions continue to argue over everything from domestic policy to whether Zionism itself should be allowed. For the sake of clarity, Zionism is a term meaning that Jews have the right to live in their ancestral homeland of Israel along with the resumption of Jewish sovereignty. This idea should unite us unlike anything else, but so often it does not. For both political and religious reasons, certain factions of Jews have rendered Zionism a bad word.

Many secular Jews who get their history solely from college are completely inundated with anti-Israel sentiment. Over time, this has had a disastrous effect. When they start believing all their professors' attempts to delegitimize the Jewish State, they inevitably overlook the fact that Israel has been a beacon of freedom among a sea of tyrannies. Similarly, there are many religious Jews who are not fond of Israel's largely secular founding, and a small number vehemently oppose any Jewish sovereignty in Israel until the Messianic era. This has inevitably led to a lack of gratitude for the modern state, despite the fact that Torah learning in yeshivot and seminaries has thrived in the country.

Israel's creation and continued existence is a miracle that is all too often taken for granted. It needs to be better appreciated. While there will always be religious and secular purists who stand against the state for one reason or another, those voices don't speak for the vast majority of Jews. As imperfect as Israel may be, it was, is, and always will be the Jewish homeland. It's neither a secular nor religious utopia, but it has produced great benefits for Jews of all stripes. Perhaps some of its citizens lack in spirituality or appreciation of its founders, but that will come in time.

I'm sure there are some readers who disagree with parts of this post, but that demonstrates the beauty of Judaism in general and of Israel in particular. From religion to politics to family life, there are significant disagreements among different Jews of goodwill. But the very fact that we feel so comfortable expressing our individual points of view shows just how much of a family we are. Two siblings at the dinner table might shout at each other during a conversation, but in the end, the family unit is one. In fact, a native-born Israeli is often referred to as a Sabra (a "prickly pear" - hard on the outside, soft on the inside). They might be in-your-face and opinionated, but when push comes to shove, they'll save your life.

The irony, of course, is that when we stop dividing each other so much, the land will stop being divided and return to its highest spiritual state. Then the rebuilding of the final Beit HaMikdash (Holy Temple) can ensue - what religious Jews most want, along with world peace - what secular Jews most want. The fulfillment of the Messianic era is a process, often taking longer than we would like, but a process nonetheless. Major historical events don't happen by accident, let alone in the holiest place on earth.

Rashi's commentary on the very first verse of the Torah explains that the account of creation set the moral basis for the Jewish inheritance of Israel. God has the ultimate authority over every claim of land, and He will vouch for Israel's legitimacy. Thus, it can be argued that God was the original Zionist. This all leads to my theory about the founding of Israel: God allowed mostly (though not exclusively) secular Jews to establish the modern state as a way of telling us that we are all important in His eyes. It is God's land, and He decides who can prosper within it. He chose the Jewish people - all the Jewish people - charedi (religious), chiloni (secular), and everything in between.

The Fight Against Evil

2011-05-04T20:07:00.000-06:00

Thank God, the world's most renowned terrorist, Osama bin Laden, has been killed. This man was directly responsible for the murders of thousands of innocent people, including fellow Americans and Jews. As important as it was to kill him, this is not the end of evil by any means. The radical Islamic ideology he preached continues to thrive. Just ask any Israeli affected by Palestinian terror. As important - and correct - as it was for Israel to take out terrorist leaders who targeted their civilians, it did not end the threat; it was simply transferred to other people. The very fact that Hamas has rendered bin Laden an "Arab holy warrior" shows how deep this problem is. From before Hitler to after bin Laden, neither anti-Semitism nor mass murder ended when these figures died. And it won't end until the Messianic era.

One of the first entries I ever posted on this blog was about the two great evils all good people must combat at this time. The first kind was mentioned in the previous paragraph; the second kind will be dealt with now. It's about fighting the evil inclination - the yetzer hara - in our individual lives, especially with regard to interpersonal conduct. It's great to take pride in any personal triumphs over our yetzer hara. However, as important as it is to overcome the inclination to act indecently toward each other in a particular situation, the battle does not end there. Similar scenarios will continue to arise, and we have to stay on our toes if we are to win the war.

Here's the bottom line: evil in all its forms will continue to affect us until the day God obliterates it from earth. As bothersome as it is to constantly stand against it, we must find the moral courage to do so. Remember, "Ohavei Hashem Sinu Ra" (Psalms 97:10) - those who love God must hate evil. Both radical Islamic terrorists and the yetzer hara do not give up in their fight; neither should we. It's frustrating to deal with, but we must persevere. With every day that passes, we inch closer to the day all people of goodwill hope for - the Final Redemption, along with its reign of true peace on earth. Until then, the fight continues.

Operation Nachshon

2011-04-27T00:55:00.000-06:00

Do miracles require faith or action? Well, the answer may surprise you. According to Jewish wisdom, both elements are necessary. Obviously, miracles require faith - a recognition that God is not bound by the laws of nature. But they also require action - some sort of tangible demonstration on our part. This idea can better be understood through one of the greatest miracles in history, the Splitting of the Red Sea, which we recounted over Passover.

There is a famous midrash on the Torah's account of the Splitting of the Red Sea that gives us an insight into how God operates. During the Exodus, the Jewish people found themselves in a seemingly insurmountable predicament; they were stuck between a pursuing Egyptian army and a vast body of water. The Jewish people cried out to Moses for God to save them, so Moses in turn prays to God. But there is no response. Then, suddenly, God exclaims, "ma titzak eilai" - "why are you crying out to me?" (Exodus 14:15) - and instructs Moses to stretch his staff to split the sea. That's the general narrative. However, there is more to this story than meets the eye.

Our Sages explain that while most people were worrying, complaining, and even praying, there was one man who took action. His name was Nachshon Ben Aminadav. He took the initiative by plunging directly into the Red Sea with complete faith that God - after performing the plethora of miracles in Egypt - would surely not allow the nascent Jewish people to be wiped out. And as Nachshon put himself in harm's way, God caused the sea to split. However, the rabbis ask, if God was ready to split the sea because Nachshon had showed faith by jumping in, then why was Moses required to carry out the task of using his staff to cause the miracle? They answer that God told Moses to do so in order to save Nachshon from drowning. Obviously, God could perform miracles without any human cooperation, but Jewish tradition has it that God wants us to play a role as well, and not merely sit around waiting for divine intervention.

Unfortunately, this midrash is not well-known among most contemporary Jews, but its significance is better known in Israel. Prior to the War of Independence in 1948, Arabs blockaded Jerusalem so that its Jewish residents could not receive food, water or supplies. Somehow, it had to be overcome. It was a difficult mission for the Jewish armies to carry out, and they knew that they needed to plunge into their own "Red Sea" in order to make something happen. The name of the operation to break this blockade was called Operation Nachshon. In this instance, and many others, brave people took the first step and God did the rest.

Never be afraid to take action while others are just waiting for a miracle. In both the macro and micro realms of life, we can be such people. For example, the brave men and women who serve in the Israel Defense Forces fulfill the Nachshonian philosophy every time they have to overcome an incredible obstacle to achieve their objectives. However, you don't have to be an Israeli commando in order to act like Nachshon. For example, if you happen to be at a simcha and a scenario develops in which someone is about to be embarrassed during a conversation - and you are in the position to jump into your own "Red Sea" and save that person from embarrassment - you can fulfill the Nachshonian idea as well. You don't have to know exactly what you're doing or what the results will be. Because here's the kicker . . .

Nachshon couldn't swim.

Cleaning Up More Than Chametz

2011-04-13T21:45:00.003-06:00

It's that time of year again. Time to get out the cleaning supplies and turn over the kitchen for Passover - the original "spring cleaning." Hopefully, you've finished most of your Passover preparations. If not, it's important not to get overwhelmed by the task at hand. In this case, the challenge is to get our vacuum cleaners into every nook and cranny around the house in order to eradicate possible crumbs of chametz. However, there's no need to worry about doing so with absolute perfection. In Pirkei Avot, Rabbi Tarfon puts us a bit more at ease when he states, "You are not required to complete the task, yet you are not free to withdraw from it" (Ethics of the Fathers 2:21).

In many areas of life, it's virtually impossible to do a perfect job, but that should not discourage us. The main thing is that we do a good job. God does not expect perfection from human beings. However, each one of us was given a unique set of abilities, and we are required to do as much as we can with them. Whether it's cleaning for Passover or cleaning up our character, there is a lot of work to be done, but we must maintain the proper perspective.

When trying to develop good character, it's easy to get frustrated at all the stumbling blocks which can lead to lapses in decency, but it's all part of growing as an individual. By maintaining a good attitude and giving a valiant effort, we will become better people than we could have ever imagined. Just have a little faith and the will to try. Everything else is in the hands of God.

There is a deeply meaningful concept known as Hakol Bidei Shamayim Chutz Miyirat Shamayim (Berachot 33b and Megillah 25a) - "everything is in the hands of Heaven except for fear of Heaven." Without getting into an extensive philosophical discussion, there is a basic understanding we can draw from this. Human beings are not capable of controlling every event in their lives, but we do have the ability to control our responses to those events. In other words, we should place more emphasis on our attitude and effort, and be less concerned with utopian results.

Reinhold Niebuhr (who just happened to be a strong supporter of Israel and an opponent of Christians trying to convert Jews) put it eloquently in a mere twenty-seven words:

"God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference."

No human being has all the answers, but God does, so beckon Him. Furthermore, try to cooperate with the inevitability of human failure on the one hand, and our capacity to overcome obstacles on the other. In the meantime, let's clean up our attitude and effort, which we do have the ability to control. Let's make this Passover as much about avoiding the chametz of bad character traits as avoiding physical chametz. Perhaps we haven't improved ourselves in the past, but now is a great time to change. After all, Passover is the holiday of redemption.

Receiving People Cheerfully

2011-04-05T21:58:00.001-06:00

In Pirkei Avot, Shammai states, "Receive every person with a cheerful expression" (Ethics of the Fathers 1:15). In other words, our demeanor should always be as friendly as possible. Obviously, this takes a considerable amount of effort to consistently achieve, but there is a practical reason for doing so.

Rabbi Israel Salanter once confronted a fellow scholar who had a worrisome look on his face. He asked why he was displaying such an unfriendly demeanor. It happened to be Aseret Yemei Teshuva (the ten days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur), and the man told him that he was concerned about the upcoming days of judgment. Rabbi Salanter replied, "But other people will not realize what is bothering you. They might well think you are upset with them. If you want to feel worry in your heart, that's your concern. Your heart is a reshut hayachid (private domain), and what you feel there is known to you alone. But your face is a reshut harabim (public domain), and nobody has the right to cause damage to public property."

As a general rule, behavior follows attitude. If you're in a good mood, you are more likely to engage in good behavior. If you're in a bad mood, you are more likely to engage in bad behavior. It's a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. But is it possible that our behavior can influence our attitude? According to Jewish wisdom, the answer is yes.

There is a principle known as mitoch shelo lishma ba lishma - something initially done without sincerity can ultimately lead to sincere performance. In this case, acting pleasantly for a considerable amount of time can indeed lead to that kind of behavior. Is it fair to be rude to others until our feelings are willing to cooperate? Of course not. So until they are, act happier even though it might be done insincerely. In the end, we'll be the better for it.

People tend to have the ability to act as though everything is fine when dealing with perfect strangers despite the fact they are in a foul mood. For example, if someone happens to be answering the door or a phone call, they can usually reverse their mood on a moment's notice. Yet, we often won't extend that same courtesy to those closest to us. Once again, consistently engaging in this kind of conduct takes a lot of effort, but it illustrates the power of behavior to influence attitude.

If you find it hard to smile often, at least try to present a friendly demeanor. If you find it hard to present a friendly demeanor, then at least explain to the other person that your foul mood has nothing to do with them. For a better understanding of this whole topic, simply put the shoe on the other foot. When do you feel most welcome around other people: when they have a serious look on their face or when they smile?

It's not easy taking the high road, but as Jews, that's the only road we should take.

Jews, Non-Jews and Ethics

2011-03-27T22:35:00.001-06:00

Following the recent terrorist attack in Jerusalem, I came across a predictably biased media report. Toward the end of an ITN news segment, the reporter says, "Israeli police called the bombing a 'terrorist attack' - their term for a Palestinian strike." Wow. Someone leaves a bomb near a bus station filled with innocent civilians, and that's merely a strike?! Just in case this reporter needs a refresher course, there's a huge difference between guerrilla warfare and terrorism: guerrillas strike military forces; terrorists target civilians. Apparently, Israeli civilians don't count. Listen closely at around 0:52 of the video:

It's incredibly frustrating to witness the constant double standard directed against Jews and Israel. While we have every right to call out such prejudice, we can't let it affect us to the point where we stop doing what is right. Despite the fact that virulent anti-Semites will always blame Jews no matter how ethically we behave, the same is not true for everyone else. Whether we're dealing with difficult people in our personal lives or the world-at-large, it's easy to fall into the trap of rationalizing that we only have to act ethically toward those with whom we agree. This might be emotionally satisfying, but Judaism demands more than that.

Sefer Mitzvot Gadol (152b) states that we cannot mislead anyone - Jew or non-Jew - in any matter. If we were to cheat other people, particularly in financial dealings, they will say that God chose a nation of thieves and deceivers. This kind of Chilul Hashem (desecration of God's name) is among the worst of sins. Furthermore, who would want to abide by the Seven Noahide Laws (which were transmitted through us), let alone convert to Judaism, if we act this way? On the other hand, when we conduct ourselves along the highest ethical standards, we create a Kiddush Hashem (sanctification of God's name).

The Chofetz Chaim provides a great example by way of a story told over by his son. There was once an incident involving workers at a Warsaw printing press where some of his books were being prepared for publication. Late in the afternoon on a Friday, one of the workers saw the Chofetz Chaim running down a small side street. It was an odd sight to see him at such an hour because it was almost time for Shabbat. It didn't take long before word spread about what had happened. The Chofetz Chaim discovered that one of the workers at the printing press left before being paid. In order not to violate the prohibition against not paying a worker's wages on time (Deuteronomy 24:14-15), the Chofetz Chaim found out the man's home address and rushed to pay him.

When God speaks to Jacob in Genesis 28:14, He says, "and through you and your descendants shall all the families of the earth be blessed." This is quite a lofty calling, but one that we can fulfill on any given day by engaging in ethical behavior. If non-Jews have good encounters with Jews, they will feel blessed. However, if non-Jews feel unfairly treated, we inevitably create a terrible Chilul Hashem. From this idea, perhaps we can draw a kal vachomer (an inference from minor to major). If we're supposed to strive for impeccable behavior around non-Jews, how much more so should we act decently toward one another. Like charity, good behavior should start at home.

Related to this issue, Dennis Prager has an interesting observation. He suggests that one of the most important days in a religious person's life is when they meet a member of a different religion - or of a different denomination within their own religion - who is both a good and intelligent individual. Such an encounter forces a person to consider that the other group's followers are not all bad or unintelligent. We're perfectly free to believe that members of other religions - or of other denominations within Judaism - are theologically flawed. But does that mean they are bad people? Not necessarily. Whether or not they engage in ethical behavior determines the answer to that question.

The Tables Will Turn

2011-03-17T21:42:00.006-06:00

The story of Purim is more than just a tale of what happened to Jews generations ago. It also provides a narrative that is quite relevant to the times in which we live. There is unbelievable evil directed against Jews, and it seems as though God is nowhere to be found. The horrific murders of the Fogel family in Itamar were a terrible reminder of this predicament. A mother, father, 11-year-old, 4-year-old, and three-month-old baby were all brutally stabbed to death by Palestinian terrorists. This act of barbarism shocked even some Jews, a people usually accustomed to tragedy.

During this month of Adar, and especially around this time of Purim, we're supposed to increase our happiness. As the motto goes, Meshenichnas Adar Marbim B'Simcha. But how is it possible to remain happy, or even maintain a degree of optimism, when there are so many people currently suffering from the effects of terrorism and other calamities? One particular line from Megillat Esther might help to improve our outlook: V'Nahafoch Hu - "and it was turned to the contrary" (Esther 9:1).

The Purim story provides an important historical precedent: when the enemies of the Jews plan great destruction, the Jewish people ultimately see great salvation. Keeping this in mind, one can only fathom how great the future must be, given the fact that so many people are either hostile toward Jews or actively seek the destruction of Israel. Although we live in an age in which God seems to be hidden, the same could be said during the days of Esther. And while everything appeared to be random and cruel, God was actually orchestrating events every step of the way.

In Megillat Esther, Haman goes to King Ahasuerus to present a false charge against Mordechai. He even prepares a gallows on which he plans to have Mordechai hanged. But before Haman can follow through with his plan, the plot he hatched against the Jews is exposed, and the king orders Haman to be hanged on those very gallows. While this was indeed miraculous, it was also a case of God carrying out the punishment for false witnesses ("do unto the perpetrator that which he wished to do to his fellow"). This kind of reversal in fortune can provide a lesson for both us and our enemies.

The lesson for us is not to scheme against one another. The next time you have a rift with a fellow Jew, seek to quickly resolve the conflict. It's better to swallow personal pride and maintain peace than to protect our egos and hurt someone else. It's just not worth it. Sooner or later, the tables will turn.

The lesson for our enemies is not to scheme against the Jewish people. Whether it's the United Nations issuing biased resolutions or the Iranian regime seeking to destroy Israel, they're overlooking this important historical precedent. For their own sake, it's not worth it. Once again, the tables will turn.

The state of current events may be dire, but it's only a matter of time until we witness the ultimate V'Nahafoch Hu - when good and evil will receive their just deserts. If for no other reason, that's worth increasing our happiness.

Are You Offended?

2011-03-11T00:18:00.004-07:00

It's not quite Purim yet, but it seems as though everyday could be Purim by reading the news. Recently, Iran claimed that the logo for the 2012 Olympics in London was racist because it resembled the word "Zion." They even threatened to boycott the games altogether. This is on top of the fact that Iranian athletes refuse to compete against Israelis. How completely obsessed with Jews does a culture have to be to find everything in life somehow connected to a "Zionist conspiracy"? Obviously, Iran's contention has nothing to do with being offended and everything to do with Jew-hatred. Nevertheless, this whole episode brought to mind how ridiculous taking offense can be.

It seems as though the world is often handcuffed by political correctness and hypersensitivity. As a result, people end up being offended by some of the strangest things. There are times when it's perfectly reasonable to be offended, but such situations happen less often than today's popular culture would have you believe. This has caused an adverse effect on interpersonal conduct overall. It's difficult - if not impossible - to improve our treatment of other people if they - or we - are constantly offended. There's almost no way to predict what may hurt another person's ego or sensibilities. We have to find a delicate balance between remaining true to our values and not hurting someone else.

Interpersonal conduct is a two-way street. For example, there is a principle followed by Orthodox Jews to avoid any physical contact with a member of the opposite sex, except for a spouse or close relatives. As a result, a secular Jewish woman might be offended if a religious Jewish man doesn't shake her hand. On the other hand (no pun intended), a religious Jewish woman might be offended if a secular Jewish man does shake her hand. This could easily turn into another instance of intra-Jewish divisiveness, but it doesn't have to be that way. It's a great opportunity to be clear and courteous. Politely state what you believe regarding this particular issue, agree or disagree, and respectfully move on with your life.

Ironically, there is an antidote to the problem of being easily offended, and it's something that many Jews recite three times a day. In the last paragraph of Shemoneh Esrei, it states (the following is an English translation): "To those who curse me, let my soul be silent; and let my soul be like dust to everyone." This line compels us to become less concerned about personal insults and more concerned with God-based goodness. The less we care about our egos, the more we will be able to focus on improving our character. If we were to defend ourselves every time someone said or did something that bothered us, we wouldn't be able to do anything else.

Unfortunately, people tend to personalize things that were never meant to be taken personally. Therefore, it would be wise to give others the benefit of the doubt unless it's absolutely clear that something is being done out of malice. Being sensitive is perfectly understandable; being hypersensitive can drive a person insane. Life may be about the details, but it's also about not sweating the small stuff. We should train ourselves to be a little more desensitized about things that might offend us and a little more sensitive about that which may offend others. Or, to put it another way:

"We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it."
- Abraham Lincoln

The Power of the Individual

2011-03-03T20:55:00.004-07:00

A couple of months ago, a single person provided the impetus for the uprisings currently taking place throughout the Arab world - though nobody could have guessed it at the time. A Tunisian man who ran a small fruits and vegetables stand set himself on fire in front of a government building after local police confiscated the goods he was trying to sell without a permit. As a college graduate who was forced into bribing authorities to simply keep his stand open, he was making a statement against the lack of opportunities in his country. What began as one person setting themselves ablaze ultimately set the entire Middle East on fire.

Just to be clear, as Jews, we are forbidden from physically harming ourselves. Furthermore, it's yet to be determined whether this change in the Arab world will be for the better or for the worse. Nevertheless, this episode reveals how one person can literally change the world. Indeed, at every point throughout history, individual people have made a huge difference.

What would the world be like if not for someone like the Chofetz Chaim or Viktor Frankl? They each saw something that needed to be done, tapped into their inner strength, and improved the world. The Chofetz Chaim, a legal scholar and ethicist, recognized that too many Jews were lacking in shmirat halashon (guarding the tongue), so he wrote an extensive work on the importance of fair speech. Ever since, he has been referred to by the name of that work. Viktor Frankl, a neurologist and Holocaust survivor, recognized the importance of a psychotherapeutic method that addressed finding meaning in life. He started logotherapy, which has helped spare countless people from despair and even suicide. These are but two examples. We can follow in their footsteps by heeding the important message of Pirkei Avot: "In a place where there are no leaders, strive to be the leader" (Ethics of the Fathers 2:6).

Regarding one's spiritual development, the Netziv provides a terrific insight when commenting on the verse, "Follow the path of your heart" (Ecclesiastes 11:9). He states that each individual Jew must find their own way of serving God. Some people carry out their divine service through study or prayer, while others focus more on charity or acts of kindness. Of course, a person can engage in all of these at different times, but it's important to find a specific focus through which you can personally find meaning and fulfill your mission in life. Whichever particular path happens to attract you most, work on it. Every single one of us has the ability to cultivate the divine spark God has given us and achieve greatness.

This can be taken one step further when it comes to a person's career. Although it's terrific for any man or woman to pursue their professional dreams, if they decide to become a stay-at-home parent, for instance, they should also be proud of their work. It always bothers me when women say something like, "I'm just a housewife." In my opinion, that's the most important job on earth. You're raising a family, being gracious to guests, and maintaining a peaceful home, among other things. What's more important than that?! Great things tend to be accomplished by people who embrace what they do and give it everything they have - no matter who may denigrate them from the outside. Never let anyone undermine the passion you give to what you believe is your calling in life.

Enhancing the importance of the individual fits perfectly into the primary focus of this blog. The goal of improving intra-Jewish relations will only be achieved when individual Jews see it through. In other words, it's commonplace for people to say, "why can't everyone just get along?" But they are asking the wrong question. They should instead be asking, "what can I do to improve myself?" Goodness starts at the individual level. If every individual Jew focuses on refining their own character - thus treating even those with whom they strongly disagree with dignity and respect - achieving Jewish unity will be the easy part. Because that will be the result.

Subduing the Ego

2011-02-23T20:50:00.003-07:00

Perhaps the greatest obstacle standing in the way of improved interpersonal conduct is ego. People tend to believe that their method of raising children, their educational philosophy, and their political views are better than those of anyone else. It's understandable. From the time we are infants, we are quite selfish - if for no other reason than self-preservation. Babies constantly need food, care and attention, or they will make their parents' lives miserable. However, as people grow older, the task is to figure out how to use one's natural inclinations for good and steer clear of harming others.

Everything was created in such a way that whatever can be used for good can also be used for evil. Fire and water are great examples; they can either sustain or destroy life. The individual ego is no different, where we just have to utilize it for good and beware of its negative effects when taken to an extreme. As it states in Pirkei Avot, "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am for myself, what am I?" (Ethics of the Fathers 1:14). Egos are there for a reason: so that we make something of ourselves. But we must keep our egos in check. Otherwise, we make ourselves the be all and end all, and everyone around us suffers.

Subduing the ego is quite the task, but one that is absolutely achievable. A good place to start is by realizing Who is above us: God. It's difficult to fully comprehend God because He is not human in any way. Yet, that shouldn't be a problem because we are inclined to simply emulate His characteristics. Just as God is kind, merciful and compassionate, so should we display these traits. If we're busy trying to build our own character in comparison to God, we'll become focused on goodness instead of self-aggrandizing. There's a reason why Moses was considered the humblest person who ever lived (Numbers 12:3). Since he was in constant contact with God, Moses understood how meek humans are in comparison.

Another step can be taken by considering the ramifications of our actions. As we make our way through life, we're not just representing ourselves. For better or for worse, we are a reflection of our families, friends and the Jewish people as a whole. Keeping this in mind will help guide our future behavior. Whenever the opportunity arises to do a specific action, it's important to quickly consider all the factors that will be affected besides our personal reputation. We don't live in a vacuum; our actions can adversely affect someone else.

Overall, thinking of ourselves as the center of the universe is easy to quell by simply following current events. The economy is a wreck, there are natural disasters all around us, and the Middle East is in turmoil. We are each an important piece in the puzzle of life, but simply a piece - not the whole puzzle. There is something going on that is much bigger than any one of us individually. While there are some people who think that they can take advantage of others during these times of crisis, they are actually digging themselves into a hole. When all is said and done, "the humble shall inherit the earth" (Psalms 37:11) - not those with big egos.

Ultimately, the answer of how to keep an ego in check is simple, but not easy: follow the Golden Rule. Consider how you would feel if you were on the receiving end of your own behavior. This has the power of improving one's character as well as making a person more considerate of those around them. It's the single most practical piece of advice on how to solve this problem.

The Chosen People

2011-02-14T20:18:00.004-07:00

From the dawn of Jewish existence, we have been referred to as the Chosen People. It's an inescapable fact (Deuteronomy 7:6). Yet, this concept isn't mentioned all that much in Jewish life - and for good reason. For one, it has caused a great deal of agony, persecution and hostility. But secondly, and most importantly, it's very easy to misinterpret what it actually means. It has absolutely nothing to do with racial or ethnic superiority. It simply means we have a unique mission to make the world aware of God and His ethical demands. That's it. These demands are basic values of decency that everyone can understand and abide by, regardless of who they are or where they came from.

We are not worthy of this title on our own merits. God only chose us because we are the descendants of the first ethical monotheist, Abraham (Genesis 18:19). That's the sole reason. In fact, to prevent ourselves from any arrogance that might be compelled by this title, one has to look no further than episodes throughout Tanach, where we have often failed to live up to God's standards. This is hardly a tradition based on inherent superiority. Instead, goodness is always based upon a person's overall behavior.

Two of the clearest examples which demonstrate that chosenness has nothing to do with innate superiority are the stories of Noah and Ruth. Noah was not Jewish, but was saved from annihilation because "he was the most righteous person in his generation" (Genesis 6:9). Similarly, Ruth was not born a Jew, but due to her righteousness was rewarded with having the Messiah himself, Mashiach Ben David, descend from her. Once again, good deeds are more important than who your parents happened to be.

While we have the responsibility of being "a light unto the nations" (Isaiah 42:6), we first have to be a light unto each other. As the saying goes, "charity begins at home." Still, we can't let this task overwhelm us to the point where we are either only good to Jews or only good to non-Jews. The more consistently we try treat other people well, the easier it will become to achieve both outcomes. Whether we're in shul on Friday night or out shopping during the week, we must always strive for top-notch behavior. Because of who we are, the world scrutinizes everything we do. At times, this can be frustrating, but it isn't always a bad thing. It can also be a great opportunity to show people the kind of character God truly desires.

Other peoples and religions have tried to strip us of the Chosen People role, but it's doubtful they actually realize what such a label entails. It's not all it's cracked up to be, and it's not something that can be transferred. As a prominent non-Jew, the Reverend Edward H. Flannery, put it: "It was Judaism that brought the concept of a God-given universal moral law into the world . . . the Jew carries the burden of God in history [and] for this has never been forgiven."

Due to the antagonism and responsibility this title brings, there's an old joke that most Jews would have preferred if God had chosen someone else. Nevertheless, spreading ethical monotheism to the world rests on our shoulders. The Chosen People idea is not dogma but historical fact. It's a powerful concept, but nothing to brag about. It's simply a calling we must try to live up to.

A Rejection of Egypt

2011-02-04T00:52:00.005-07:00

In light of the current protests and violence in modern-day Egypt, I thought it would be interesting to recall the Jewish view toward ancient Egypt. One of the most important events in human history was the Exodus from that country. As miraculous and memorable as it was, this whole episode was about more than just a group of people leaving a foreign place to go to the Promised Land. It was about God freeing us from a culture of slavery and death, and showing the world that what He truly desires is a culture based upon life and goodness. In other words, Judaism is a rejection of ancient Egypt.

Here are a few examples of the contrasts between ancient Egypt and Judaism:

- unethical polytheism vs. ethical monotheism

- a culture obsessed with death vs. a culture obsessed with life

- slavery vs. freedom

(As a side note, those who claim that the Torah defends slavery are being disingenuous. In general, the Torah's concept of "slavery" refers to indentured servitude to pay off a debt. It was not about people owning human beings and doing whatever they wanted with them. In fact, brutal treatment of any slave - Jewish or non-Jewish - resulted in their immediate freedom. After all, a fundamental tenet of Judaism is remembering that we were once slaves in Egypt.)

Aspects of ancient Egyptian culture, such as art and technology, were indeed magnificent, but there was a huge problem: it was not coupled with universal God-based ethics. As a result, these things easily turned into false gods and led to poor treatment of other people. For example, the pyramids - for all their artistic and technological greatness - were nothing more than fancy tombs for dead rulers. Their whole religion was focused on death and the deification of human beings. The Torah represents the polar opposite, wanting people to be preoccupied with life and good deeds based on faith in one God. This is also a major reason why the Torah is virtually silent on the afterlife; God wants us to focus on this life.

As mentioned above, a prevalent theme in ancient Egypt was an obsession with death. Sound familiar? Radical Islamists, who have their sights set on overtaking more Middle Eastern countries, including Egypt, have a similar obsession. There is yet another similarity. Back then, the target was the Jewish people. This time, the target is the Jewish state (a hat tip goes to Devorah for this video):

Although Egypt is now Islamic in nature, it's still death-filled and obsessed with hurting Jews and destroying Israel. Of course, not every Egyptian wants this. After all, Egypt did sign a peace treaty with Israel, albeit a very tenuous one. But just look at Egyptian state television, which often incites Muslims against Jews, including airing a forty-one-part series based on the anti-Semitic Protocols of the Elders of Zion. In addition, the Egyptian army conducts annual military exercises in the Sinai for preparation against their "primary enemy" of Israel. This attitude is all too common in the Islamic world. Hopefully, the more secular and democratic voices in this conflict prevail, but it could easily turn into another radical state.

Overall, it's difficult to remain optimistic in a part of the world where the historical precedent is persecution and destruction. Yet, instead of worrying about events that are out of our hands, all we can do is control how we react and find solace in the fact that God has a purpose for everything. In the meantime, it will be beneficial to hearken back to the values upon which Judaism was founded. In short, we are to reject a culture of death and embrace life; reject slavery and pursue freedom; and reject false gods, along with their unethical practices, and instead follow in God's ethical ways - chief among them, caring for people in general, and for fellow Jews in particular.

Acting decently toward Jews . . . now that's truly a rejection of Egypt!

First, Do No Harm

2011-01-28T00:30:00.005-07:00

Primum non nocere is a Latin phrase that is a foundational element of the Hippocratic Oath (the pledge taken by new doctors). Although the exact origin of the phrase in unknown, the essence of its translation is extremely important: "First, do no harm." In other words, when a problem presents itself, it may be better not to do something, or even to do nothing, than to risk doing more harm than good. Medical students are taught this under the principle of nonmaleficence in medical ethics, especially when it comes to emergency medical services.

An example of this concept in practice can be seen when a professional sports player sustains a serious injury. Team trainers have learned to use precautionary measures when tending to the injured player. They are concerned, first and foremost, with not making the injury worse. Especially in the case of an apparent neck or spinal injury, they do not want to exacerbate the problem by forcing the body into a position that could cause permanent damage. Therefore, they start by simply immobilizing the body, and only engage in further action when more is known. Such an approach has not only helped in saving professional sports careers, but also in saving lives. While this concept is generally connected to the medical profession, it can apply just as well to other areas of life.

People have often debated which formulation of the Golden Rule is better: the positive formulation (i.e. love your neighbor as yourself), or the negative formulation (i.e. do not do unto others that which you don't want done unto you). While the positive formulation certainly sounds nicer, why is it that a Torah scholar like Hillel preferred to use the negative formulation? When articulating the underlying principle of Judaism, he said, "What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. This is the whole Torah! The rest is commentary. Now, go and study" (Shabbat 31a). Couldn't he have simply said something to the effect of "Love other people" as the opening line?

Herein lies the wisdom behind Hillel's response. Instead of driving ourselves crazy trying to figure out all the details of how to act lovingly toward others, a negative formulation of the Golden Rule forces us to think about how we would feel if we were on the receiving end of our own interpersonal conduct. For example, before speaking harshly about someone else, a person should consider whether they would find it okay if someone else spoke in such a manner about them. Engaging in this quick ethical test is within everyone's capacity. This could also be the reason why most of the Ten Commandments are phrased as "Thou shalt not." It may not sound as pleasant, but it is infinitely more effective.

This is not to overlook a sage like Rabbi Akiva, who uses the positive formulation, "To love your neighbor as yourself is the major principle of the Torah." However, after people hear such a statement, they often wonder how to properly fulfill the commandment. For example, does it mean we are obligated to love every single person, both Jew and gentile, both good and evil, and if so, to what extent? The questions are endless, and it can take a lifetime of study to uncover sufficient answers. However, when people hear a negative formulation of the Golden Rule, it becomes much easier to incorporate into their daily lives. First, the basic value of not hurting others is inculcated, and then one can go on to learn all the details of how to lead an ethical life. As Hillel states, "The rest is commentary. Now, go and study."

Before we can be good people, we must first not be bad people. Or, to put it another way, before we do a specific action, it would be wise to ask ourselves whether or not our behavior will inflict harm on someone else. Anyone can rationalize that their intentions were pure, but few people can withstand the unforeseen consequences of their actions. The more we interfere in the lives of others, the more of a chance we may hurt them. Obviously, this doesn't mean that we should shy away from helping those in need. It simply means we have to be fairly certain that what we're doing has a good chance of actually helping. Remember . . . primum non nocere.

The Kindness of a Stranger

2011-01-20T00:40:00.003-07:00

Over the past week, a story of extraordinary kindness has been circulating. Mark Dickinson was trying to catch a flight from Los Angeles to Denver in order to see his dying grandson. The boy, Caden Rogers, would eventually die from severe injuries he received when his mother's boyfriend violently threw him across the room. But Dickinson desperately wanted to get to the hospital before the boy would be taken off life support. To do so, he needed the compassion of airport workers and the kindness of a Southwest Airlines pilot.

While he was frantically making his way through the airport, his wife, Nancy, called ahead to explain the situation to airline employees. To his amazement, when he finally made it to the gate twelve minutes late, both the ticketing agent and pilot were waiting. They said, "Are you Mark? We held the plane for you and we're so sorry about the loss of your grandson." As Dickinson walked alongside the pilot to board the plane, he told him, "I can't thank you enough for this." The pilot responded, "They can't go anywhere without me and I wasn't going anywhere without you."

Here is the story in his own words:

In a world in which there is a great deal of evil, there is also a great deal of good. You just have to look for it. Not only was it refreshing to see someone use their position of authority for good, it was also terrific to see gratitude on behalf of the recipient of this act of kindness. Although there are times when a situation appears to be nothing but bad, everyday people can go out of their way to engage in goodness and provide solace for complete strangers.

After hearing about this heartwarming story, I thought of Micah 6:8 - where we are told that all God truly wants from us is "to act justly, love kindness, and walk humbly with your God" - and how the pilot fulfilled each of the three criteria mentioned in the verse:

1) He acted justly by holding the plane.

2) He showed a love for kindness by helping a grieving grandparent.

3) He remained humble before God by not making a big deal about it.

In any given situation, a person can achieve this trifecta. An anonymous pilot made the best of his opportunity. May we, too, be worthy of doing the right thing at the right time in the right way.

Redeeming Gilad Shalit

2011-01-14T00:28:00.004-07:00

In the previous post, I mentioned how the plight of Jonathan Pollard is an example of how we can be forced into unity due to circumstances beyond our control. Unfortunately, this is not the only example. Over the past several years, the case of Gilad Shalit has been at the forefront. Since the summer of 2006, he has been held captive by Hamas in Gaza (to the best of our knowledge). Once again, Jews of all walks of life have been united in their concern over Gilad's safe release.

Pidyon shevuyim, redeeming captives, can be traced all the way back to Abraham (Genesis 14). When he learned that his nephew Lot had been captured by soldiers who attacked Sodom, he gathered over 300 people and pursued the opposing army. Shortly thereafter, Abraham and his men defeated the invaders and rescued Lot, along with others who were being held hostage. The significance of redeeming captives is also alluded to in the first of the Ten Commandments. God begins by saying, "I am the Lord your God Who brought you out of the land of Egypt, the house of bondage" (Exodus 20:2). Rabbenu Bachya comments that God could have simply referred to Himself as the "Creator of heaven and earth," but wanted to mention the importance of redeeming captives - in this case, 600,000 Jews - which is considered even greater than the wonder of Creation.

Given the importance of this mitzvah, and the ramifications of action or inaction, there are different philosophical approaches when it comes to pidyon shevuyim. Among them are redeeming captives under any circumstances and redeeming captives only when the price is reasonable. These conflicting factors continue to haunt Israeli officials and citizens alike. On the one hand, no soldier can be left behind. On the other hand, at what price can a deal be negotiated (which would likely include the release of convicted terrorists) without putting more people in jeopardy?

From a moral and halachic perspective, both sides of this issue have legitimate arguments. Unfortunately, there is no easy answer to this dilemma. As is often the case in life, the choice is not between good and bad, but between bad and worse. While we must continue to do our best to affect Gilad's release, his redemption is ultimately in God's hands. To add to Rabbenu Bachya's analysis, not only is redeeming captives considered greater than Creation itself, it also appears to be just as remarkable to accomplish.

One thing we can do as a larger Jewish family is control how we treat one another. If nothing else, we can help Gilad in that sense. Instead of simply feeling sorry for his predicament, we can create an immeasurable spiritual merit on his behalf through our behavior. In this way, Gilad will not just be passively suffering at the hands of terrorists; he will be actively helping the entire Jewish world. He's going through torment beyond what any of us can imagine. Our daily interactions with difficult people pale in comparison. In the scheme of things, is it really worth it to act condescendingly towards - or outright defame - another Jew? If all else fails in preventing indecent interpersonal behavior, think of Gilad.

You'd be amazed by what you can accomplish when you put aside your ego and sincerely care about the welfare of someone else.

Case in Point: Jonathan Pollard

2011-01-06T21:30:00.006-07:00

On this blog, I often mention that if we don't unite under our own volition, we will be forced to do so under less than ideal circumstances. Unfortunately, the predicament of Jonathan Pollard is a prime example. As Pollard enters his 26th year in prison for a crime that usually receives 2 to 4 years, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and many other leading Jewish figures have made a public plea for clemency. Jews from all major denominational and political backgrounds are uniting in their call for Pollard's release. Indeed, over the past two decades, Jews of all walks of life have pleaded for mercy from American presidents on Pollard's behalf.

Recently, a short video was put together on this issue:

Just to be clear, Pollard did commit a crime by passing classified information (albeit to Israel, a democratic ally) and did deserve to receive a minor prison sentence. However, he has been there - often in solitary confinement - above and beyond what any comparable criminal has received, and he most certainly does not deserve a life sentence. We must continue to do our best to achieve his release via a presidential pardon. This is about pursuing justice and trying to alleviate the suffering of Jonathan and his devoted wife, Esther, who tirelessly makes the case for his freedom. Sadly, her husband continues to deteriorate physically.

There are those who wonder whether or not Jews asking for Pollard's release are simply having an ethnocentric, knee-jerk reaction for someone who actually deserves a severe sentence. However, the more objectively one looks into the details of the incident and compares it to other spying cases, the more unsettling this situation becomes. There is something very disturbing about the fact that thousands of murderers and child molesters - not to mention those caught spying for America's enemies - have been released after only a few years in prison, while a man who did nothing comparable rots in a lonely cell.

It's important to strive for justice on behalf of anyone who has been the victim of injustice. As Martin Luther King, Jr. put it, "injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." Yet, while helping Pollard should be done simply because it is right, there is another issue at play here. In a larger sense, this case affects us all because of its anti-Semitic undertones (even though it might be uncomfortable coming to the conclusion that Pollard is being singled out because he is Jewish). Hopefully, we will figure out a way to achieve a pardon for Pollard before it is too late, and finally achieve some semblance of unity before another Jew has to go through a similar ordeal.

Unity - Not Uniformity

2010-12-30T00:35:00.003-07:00

As 2010 comes to an end and 2011 begins, there is an important question that continues to linger for Jews all around the world. Yet, the people who have the answer to this question remain the same - you and me. Here is how Avraham Infeld, President Emeritus of Hillel International, articulates the question:

As mentioned in the video, is it possible for Jews to be unified without being uniform? With all the different denominations of Judaism that have developed, and with all the inevitable changes that go along with modernity, can we remain a unified people without having the more uniform ways of generations past? If the posts on this blog reflect anything, it is that my answer is a definitive yes. But more Jews need to embrace this dilemma and work on a practical solution.

One way or another, I believe we are the generation that will ultimately solve this problem. As deep as some of our differences are, we will either muster up the moral courage to recognize all Jews as equal members of the same tribe, or circumstances will develop in which we will be forced to come to that conclusion. We are a unique blend of people unlike any other that has ever existed. If we don't remind ourselves of this, someone outside of Jewish circles will.

Although ritual observance is extremely significant, one's level of observance does not determine Jewishness.

Although political affiliation is extremely significant, one's political ideology does not determine Jewishness.

Although clothing is extremely significant, one's way of dress does not determine Jewishness.

These are just a sampling of differences often used to cause division among our people. The beauty of Judaism is that we can have different takes on the important issues of life and not be disbanded. It is our common past, present and future that unite us as much as anything. We have it within our power to display the significance of this common bond through decent behavior and good deeds.

Remember, it was an interpersonal dilemma that exiled us; it will be an interpersonal fix that redeems us. With God's help and sincere human efforts, we can succeed. To paraphrase former President John F. Kennedy: "We choose to do these things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard." It should go without saying that improving intra-Jewish relations will be difficult, but that is precisely why succeeding in this venture will be so rewarding.

Statement on Civility

2010-12-23T20:50:00.004-07:00

An American Jewish organization recently decided to form a statement on civility. It was designed to combat the vileness often found during political and religious dialogue within the Jewish community. While you may not agree with other positions the JCPA (Jewish Council for Public Affairs) has taken on certain issues, it should still be refreshing to see that fellow Jews are making a sincere attempt to address this unfortunate problem. Here is the JCPA statement (if you or your organization wish to sign the petition, click here):

"In American society, especially in our diverse Jewish community, we value robust and vigorous debate about pressing issues. Such debate is one of the greatest features of our democracy and one of the hallmarks of our people. We revel in our tradition of debate: A frank and civil exchange of ideas helps to inform our decisions, provoke new ways of thinking, and sometimes even change our minds.

And yet today, the expression and exchange of views is often an uncivil, highly unpleasant experience. Community events and public discussions are often interrupted by raised voices, personal insults, and outrageous charges. Such incivility serves no purpose but to cheapen our democracy. When differences spiral down into uncivil acrimony, the dignity of individuals and community is diminished, and our precious democracy is weakened. People holding diverse views cease to listen to each other. Lack of civility makes it more difficult, if not impossible, to open minds, much less find common ground.

Therefore we as a community and as individuals, must pledge to uphold the basic norms of civil discussion and debate at our public events. We do this not to stifle free expression of views, but rather to protect it.

We will discover civility in the guarding of our tongues and the rejection of false witness. We will find it wherever we show care for the dignity of every human being, even those with whom we may strongly disagree. We will find it by listening carefully when others speak, seeking to understand what is being said and trying to learn from it.

This pursuit has deep roots in Torah and in our community’s traditions. Our Sages saw the fruit of arguments that were conducted l’shem shamayim, "for the sake of Heaven." They fervently believed that great minds, engaged in earnest search and questioning, could find better and richer solutions to the problems they faced. They refrained from insisting on uniformity. They sought to preserve and thereby honor the views of the minority as well as the majority. They did so through their understanding of the great teaching of Eilu v’elu divrei Elokim chayim, "both these words and those are the words of the living God."

As a community, we must commit ourselves and ask others to open their hearts and minds to healthy, respectful dialogue based on our love for our neighbors and our people.

We therefore agree to treat others with decency and honor and to set ourselves as models for civil discourse, even when we disagree with each other.

We commit ourselves to this course to preserve an essential element of a community – the ability to meet and talk as brothers and sisters."

In addition to this pledge, there was a conference held to discuss the issue (to view a video of the conference, click here). As some of the contributors mentioned, a single statement, conference or educational program is not actually going to solve the problem. However, the fact that many Jews are willing to admit that they have either engaged in or been the victim of incivility when expressing their personal views is a great start. More importantly, these same people have shown a willingness to do something about it.

In my opinion, the main reason a lack of civility continues to proliferate among the Jewish community is because of a lack of prioritized values. Consequently, I think the answer to this problem is simple to understand, just not easy to achieve: be clear but courteous. In other words, stand by your convictions while following the Golden Rule. It's called "golden" for a reason; it's of value to both the person who follows it and the person on the receiving end. In this way, those who engage in ad hominem attacks will naturally become marginalized over time, while those who engage in respectful disagreement will naturally become admired over time.

Exchanging views with someone opposite us on the ideological spectrum doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience - unless we want it to be. As Jews, we have a long list of priorities. But if our tradition and common sense tell us anything, it is that civility must be right at the top.

Jacob's Message for the Future

2010-12-17T00:58:00.006-07:00

As Jacob's life was coming to an end, he wished to confer divine blessings for success unto each of his twelve sons. This episode is recorded in Genesis 49:1-2, where it states:

"And Jacob called unto his sons and said, 'Gather yourselves together, and I will tell you that which will befall you in the End of Days. Assemble yourselves, and hear, O sons of Jacob, and hearken to Israel your father.'"

Notice how Jacob emphasizes two things: there is a need for everyone to gather together, and they should listen closely to what he has to say. All of this precedes the actual giving of the blessings. In other words, Jacob was hinting to the fact that the prerequisite for receiving the blessings was unity. First they had to come together as a family, and only then could he give each individual a blessing tailored to their place among the Jewish people. What followed were descriptions of how each of the Twelve Tribes of Israel assumed a unique role. Some engaged in commerce or working the fields, others in religious study, and yet others in military or temple service - and all were essential to the survival of the nation.

We must do our best to overcome the inclination to force others into living their lives exactly as we'd like them to. Whether we think that all Jews should pursue postgraduate study and enter a medical or law career, or pursue religious study and enter the rabbinate, or any other path - one way of life does not fit all, and Jacob was alluding to this. In addition, we can derive from his words that while each one of us serves as a unique individual among the Jewish people, we must conduct ourselves as a larger family. We should never disregard others just because of their different approaches to life. In fact, it is precisely because of our differences that this formula works.

This brings to mind a related lesson. The chelbonah (galbanum) was a spice with a foul odor that was included in the Temple's incense service. In the absence of this spice, the entire mixture was rendered invalid. Although one would think that only pleasant-smelling spices would create the best mixture, when the chelbonah was mixed together with all the other fragrances, it produced a beautiful aroma. Our Sages note that this is to teach us that even Jews who do not engage in righteous behavior are an integral part of the Jewish people. Every single Jew - no matter how great or how lacking in deeds - is important in the eyes of God.

From an historic perspective, it appears as though we are living in the End of Days, a time in which the world will eventually change for the better. The only way to get to the desired destination of a better world is by heeding Jacob's call. The message behind his blessings is as relevant today as it ever was. We are each individually unique by design and are asked to use our God-given talents for good. But when all is said and done, it must go along with good treatment of fellow Jews. Whether we like it or not, we're one family charged with bringing God-based goodness to the world. In a veiled way, Jacob was letting us know how to succeed in our divine mission.

Don't Miss the Forest for the Trees

2010-12-12T00:12:00.003-07:00

The recent forest fire in northern Israel brought to mind a saying that can provide perspective to many different areas of life: "Don't miss the forest for the trees." In other words, don't get so caught up in the details of something that you miss the big picture. Just to be clear, this blog post has nothing to do with trying to figure out why God allowed the fire to occur; it just happens to be that it reminded me of this saying. In fact, this adage might bode well for those searching for answers. While it's understandable to desire divine explanations for tragedies, there are more pressing matters at the moment. For the sake of those who were killed (including Rabbi Uriel Malka, who had strong ties to Denver) or otherwise affected by the fire, our primary concern should be with helping them and their families.

Unfortunately, what often happens in religious life is that ritual observance can go awry. To counter such a phenomenon, Hillel provides probably the most succinct analysis of what Judaism is all about when he said, "What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. This is the whole Torah! The rest is commentary. Now, go and study" (Shabbat 31a). This was not merely a sweet line to divert attention away from the more difficult aspects of Judaism. He was expressing that Judaism's ethical laws are actually foremost in significance. Ethical behavior is not an extracurricular activity; it is God's primary demand. Obviously, this is not to say that we shouldn't be holy as well. It simply means that unless we're good to other people first, our holy activities (i.e. ritual observance) will lack the proper perspective.

Of course, we are supposed to do mitzvot simply because God commanded us to do so - regardless of any human understanding for why. But this shouldn't undermine an ethical mindset. For example, take one of the most important mitzvot in the Torah: kashrut. Aside from its intrinsic spiritual value, kashrut is designed to keep us together. For instance, if someone happens to be traveling to a city where there is a small Jewish community and is looking for a kosher place to eat, they are compelled to contact fellow Jews who might be able to accommodate their visit. This should foster a sense of goodwill and brotherhood. Instead, what sometimes occurs is an intense inquiry into every technical detail of the host's level of kashrut, which can completely humiliate the people trying to meet the needs of the visitor. Sadly, there are those who are more concerned with the food that goes into their mouths than the words that come out of their mouths.

Whenever something becomes an end in itself rather than a means to goodness, unfortunate consequences can arise. Hopefully, Jews who are ritually observant understand that these prescribed laws exist to enhance the lives of those who follow them. However, there are times when it's easy to get caught up in all the details of living a religious life that one's concern for other people takes a back seat. That is why it is so beneficial to hearken back to the Golden Rule articulated by Hillel. As long as we maintain a keen awareness of the highest ethical standard God wants from us, we can still each follow our own ritual customs and not have them adversely affect our interpersonal conduct.

To maintain this perspective, whenever there is a conflict between technical differences and overall goodness, it might help to remember seven simple words: "Don't miss the forest for the trees."

It's a Blessing to Have Flaws

2010-12-02T21:00:00.005-07:00

One of the blessings made after eating certain foods or drinks is Borei Nefashot. Here's an English translation of the blessing:

Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, Creator of numerous living things with their deficiencies, for all that You have created to sustain every living being. Blessed is He, the life of the universe.

Why is it that we bless God for creating us with deficiencies? The Chofetz Chaim provides an instructive answer. He explains that God intentionally created us with certain strengths - as well as certain weaknesses - because we are supposed to be interdependent. Otherwise, we'd be automatons and have no need for other people. In such a scenario, life would be virtually meaningless. Therefore, we bless God that we aren't perfect. Furthermore, by helping other people with the talents God gave us, and by allowing others to help us with the talents God gave them, we sustain the world.

Although the Torah speaks of the greatness of its most famous figures, it also goes out of its way to note their flaws. Why? Our Sages explain that it is to teach us that we too can be good without being perfect. From Rachel's jealousy of her sister who had children to Moses' moment of anger at striking the rock, instances of flaws in character are often mentioned so that we can learn how to control our own jealousy and anger, for example. Obviously, the flaws of our biblical heroes were minor compared to our negative character traits, but such things are mentioned for our benefit.

The Torah wants us to be able to take away practical advice on how we can improve ourselves. If the Torah and its commentaries were only records of how perfect our ancestors were, we wouldn't be able to learn anything tangible from it. As a side note, this lends credence to the authenticity of the Torah. It often speaks of its most beloved people with all their weaknesses. You would think that it would go out of its way to overlook such flaws. But if the Torah did so, it would not serve as an instruction manual for life, and its lessons would be totally unrelateable.

This brings to mind a good sports analogy. While there are many fans who like to see their teams' most talented players return as coaches, this can often be counterproductive. Some of the best coaches weren't great stars during their playing days, and this is precisely why they can be so helpful to struggling players. If they had too much natural talent, they couldn't relate to a player who was struggling in a certain aspect of their game; they would simply expect too much from them. Therefore, coaches who were average players are usually better for younger athletes who need guidance, because they had to overcome similar obstacles.

There's a Talmudic dictum which states, "if you try to grasp everything, you will grasp nothing" (Rosh Hashanah 4b). In other words, if you aim for perfection, you will be disappointed. None of us can be perfect, but all of us can be good. Luckily, goodness is what God desires. So, despite all your imperfections, be the best you that you can possibly be. Don't get overwhelmed when you inevitably do something wrong, because you can overcome the error and still achieve greatness. Who knows - maybe one day you'll be able to help someone else correct a flaw in their character because you had to deal with the same problem.

Never Forget

2010-11-25T00:12:00.007-07:00

It has now been two years since radical Islamists committed a senseless massacre in Mumbai, India. In addition to the locations where they wounded and killed hundreds of innocent people, these terrorists made it a point to attack a nearby Chabad house. Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg, Rivka Holtzberg (who was pregnant at the time), Rabbi Bentzion Kruman, Yocheved Orpaz, Norma Shvartzblat Rabinovich and Rabbi Aryeh Leibish Teitelbaum were all murdered. The reason? Because they were Jewish. The terrorists were told by their handlers in Pakistan that the lives of Jews were worth 50 times more than those of regular "infidels." Whether it's Nazi persecution from 1938 or Islamic terrorism from 2008, we must never forget what happened.

At full disclosure, I'm not Lubavitch and have some serious problems with the messianic elements of the movement. However, when I saw news of the attacks two Thanksgivings ago, my thoughts focused on how the victims were my (and all our) brothers and sisters - not on my personal disagreements with Lubavitchers. The people of that Chabad house were kind individuals who sought to help fellow Jews in a troubled part of the world. While my philosophical differences would continue, I realized that those differences weren't all that important in the scheme of things. I don't think it had to take such a horrific event to come to this realization, but it inevitably had that effect.

Luckily, not everything that happened during the attacks was evil. In the midst of the hell that had been created by the terrorists, a hero emerged in the form of a nanny named Sandra Samuel. She went out of her way to save Moshe Holtzberg, the orphaned son of Rabbi and Mrs. Holtzberg. In interviews that followed, Samuel expressed how it bothered her that she couldn't have saved more of the victims. An amazing woman like this demonstrates how important it is to judge people by their actions - not whether they are religious or secular, or even Jewish, for that matter. It also shows that even in the darkest hours we can find amazing light. Recently, Samuel received great news: she was awarded permanent resident status and honorary Israeli citizenship.

Whether it's Daniel Pearl or Rabbi and Mrs. Holtzberg or any other Jewish victim in recent memory, they were all targeted based on their Jewishness - regardless of any description that came before the word "Jew" (e.g. liberal, conservative, orthodox, reform, or any other term you wish to insert). If our enemies can figure this out, it's about time we all recognize the significance of our fellow Jews, no matter our personal disagreements. Although it's difficult to swallow our denominational and political pride from time to time, it's better that we do so in life than be forced to admit our lack of priorities in death. We can still rigorously debate issues that are important to us; we just can't allow our differences in thought or lifestyle to lead to indecent treatment of those with whom we disagree.

In the merit of preventing ourselves from harming fellow Jews, may God prevent attacks from those who wish to harm us.

Rachel - Gracious in Life and Death

2010-11-17T19:11:00.008-07:00

When we think of famous biblical figures, the people who typically come to mind are Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Moses, to name a few. While all of these men are incredibly important to the Jewish people (and the rest of the world, for that matter), there is one person whose significance is often overlooked: Rachel. This Jewish matriarch rivals even the most important biblical figures because of the graciousness with which she treated other people - even when it came at great personal cost.

Rachel was loved by Jacob, who devoted seven years of physical labor in order to gain her hand in marriage. But her father, Laban, had a plan that would deceive him into marrying her older sister, Leah. Figuring that Laban would do this, Jacob and Rachel developed a secret signal before the wedding. On the night of the ceremony, the bride was veiled and Jacob didn't realize that Leah had been substituted for Rachel. In a moment that would change the course of the rest of her life, Rachel decided to give over the signal in order not to humiliate her sister. This meant that she would basically be forfeiting her own destiny in the process.

The lessons we can learn from Rachel are invaluable. Among them, we should always show concern for family members (i.e. fellow Jews), as well as be careful not to embarrass another person. While we are never required to do that which is beyond our abilities, we must always make a sincere effort to protect the dignity of other people. For example, if we accidentally fail to greet someone at a gathering - and they take it as a deliberate embarrassment - the onus is on them to give us the benefit of the doubt. However, if we go out of our way to defame someone in public, the onus is on us to ask them for forgiveness and cease engaging in such behavior.

Even in death, Rachel's graciousness continued. There is a famous Midrash on Jeremiah 31:14-16 that speaks of her high stature. Upon seeing the Jews' suffering after the destruction of the First Holy Temple, all the major biblical heroes came before God and pleaded for it to stop - but to no avail. Then, Rachel approached God and cried out that He show mercy to His people on account of her interpersonal behavior. God was moved by her plea and went on to promise that the exile would eventually end and the Jews would return to their land. For this reason, Rachel was buried at a location that Jews would pass during their travels into exile; they could let out their cries, and she would be able to pray to God on their behalf.

Incidentally, a United Nations cultural organization recently declared Rachel's Tomb a mosque. Although it is commonplace for anti-Semitic groups to claim that Jews have no ties to Israel, historical evidence prevents them from gaining any serious credibility. Therefore, they often resort to revisionism, which much of the world is all too willing to accept. During these trying times, let's treat one another in a manner of which Rachel would be proud, and perhaps she will intercede with God once again. In particular, make sure never to intentionally humiliate another human being. Rachel gave up her entire destiny to avoid embarrassing someone else. All we have to do is give up some of our ego.

The Greatest Among Us

2010-11-11T20:32:00.007-07:00

In honor of Veterans Day, I would like to express my gratitude to all the brave men and women who have served in the American armed forces. From the mandatory military service of years ago to the volunteer army of today, extraordinary heroes have been produced. It is only because of these people who are willing to put their lives on the line that the rest of us are able to enjoy all the freedoms this country has to offer.

Since it can be difficult to express true appreciation through words alone, I recently came across a touching song that might do a little better. It's called Note to the Unknown Soldier by Five For Fighting:

Along this theme, there is a great story told of Rabbi Aryeh Levine. A man named Elazar Cohen was the commander in charge of the Israeli army's helicopter squad. During wartime, his job was to fly directly into hostile enemy fire in order to rescue wounded soldiers. Cohen once came to the greatest sage of the time, Rabbi Levine, and asked for a blessing. To Cohen's shock, Rabbi Levine refused. He then asked, "But why?" Rabbi Levine responded, "Who am I to bless you? I truly believe that your merit in Heaven is greater than mine."

We should always keep in mind that the very term for Jew in Hebrew, Yehudi, is derived from the word meaning "one who thanks." So, as both a proud American and Jew, it's only fitting to be grateful for all our veterans and their families. Thank you for your service and sacrifice. You are truly the greatest among us.

The Middle East Problem

2010-11-07T01:20:00.006-06:00

With all the evil going on in the world today, it's truly amazing to witness the inordinate amount of scrutiny placed upon a tiny, decent and democratic state called Israel. From graduate programs and think tanks to media reports and biased resolutions at the United Nations, major efforts are dedicated to analyzing the lack of peace in the Middle East. This might lead one to believe that the conflict between Israel and her neighbors is difficult to explain. But this is not so. Here's a great video that clarifies the root of the problem:

As mentioned in the video, it's actually quite easy to describe the Middle East problem. It's only difficult to solve it. A similar case can be made when it comes to the most significant problem going on within the Jewish world today: intramural hatred. Once again, it's pretty easy to describe the problem. It's just difficult to solve it.

The Talmud (Yoma 9b) provides explanations for why both the First and Second Temple eras resulted in destruction. The first exile was due to widespread idol worship, sexual immorality and murder. However, the second exile (which continues to this day) came as a result of sinat chinam. For a more detailed discussion of this vice, click here. As mentioned in that previous post, sinat chinam is much deeper than some generic dislike of other people. It has to do with hating fellow Jews for who they are.

There could actually be Middle East peace if Israel's enemies would simply recognize the legitimacy of a Jewish state. Similarly, there could actually be peace between Jews if we would simply recognize the legitimacy of each other's place among the Jewish people. Obviously, it's difficult to envision either of these scenarios coming to fruition. However, there's an important difference: in the first scenario, the onus is on our enemies; in the second scenario, the onus is on us. In other words, good interpersonal conduct is always within our power. The rest, of course, is in the hands of God.

Professor Calls for Israel's Destruction

2010-10-28T00:55:00.007-06:00

Kaukab Siddique believes the Holocaust was a hoax and that Muslims must rise up to destroy Israel. If this sounds familiar, it's because Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has echoed the same sentiment (i.e. deny the first Holocaust while preparing a second). This kind of rhetoric reflects much of what is heard in radical Islamic circles, but what makes this case particularly troubling is that Siddique is a tenured professor at Lincoln University in Pennsylvania. While the university is trying to distance itself from his comments, school administrators claim that they can't do anything about it because he has tenure. They also claim that he has every right to say such things outside of campus. I don't know about them, but controversial speech is one thing and the outright advocation of violence is another. Judge for yourself by watching the full video of his speech during the "Al Quds Day" rally in Washington, DC:

Among other things, he calls on Muslims to fight against Zionism (i.e. Jews, and anyone else who supports Israel). He also talks about sending Israelis back to where they came from. But they mostly came from countries that either persecuted or killed them! In other words, he's calling for the Final Solution. At least towards the end of the video, he kind of gets one thing right: unity is important. However, our unity cannot consist of forcing other Jews to live exactly as we'd like them to; it must always begin by treating one another with dignity. If you ever have the inclination to label Jews with whom you disagree as "enemies," it might help to remember people like this professor. We must focus our efforts on fighting real enemies instead of easily labeling our ideological opponents as such.

This can serve as yet another reminder that if we don't improve intra-Jewish relations under our own volition, circumstances will inevitably develop in which we are forced to recognize that even Jews with whom we don't get along are still our fellow Jews. History keeps repeating itself - the Holocaust, Israel's wars of survival, the recent barrage of radical Islamic terrorist attacks - in every instance, our enemies did not discriminate between different types of Jews, so why on earth do we go out of our way to separate each other (unless the rift is based on objective ethical grounds)? Furthermore, why should we wait for some horrific event to occur before acting upon this message? If we had the same amount of fervor caring for all types of Jews as our enemies have for exterminating us, we would be in much better shape.

Faith, Unity, and Survival

2010-10-22T00:15:00.003-06:00

People often use faith and unity as inspirational slogans, but in the case of the 33 trapped Chilean miners, faith and unity actually sustained them. For 69 difficult days, these men not only had to find a source of hope but also a way to deal with one another. They soon figured out that all they had was God and each other, and they made the best of it. Although all the facts of how they survived have yet to be revealed, the youngest of the trapped miners, Jimmy Sanchez, provided an insight into their mindset. In a letter sent up through one of the narrow tubes that served as lifelines before they were rescued, he wrote: "There are actually 34 of us, because God has never left us down here."

As an interesting side note, the gematria (numerical equivalent in Hebrew) of ‘לב א (one heart) is 33 - the same as the number of men who were trapped in the mine. Perhaps this can serve as a subtle reminder that when a group of people are able to achieve unity, miraculous events can happen. By working together from deep beneath the earth's surface and having faith in God that they would eventually get out, they beat the odds and survived. Of course, there have been other mining accidents that did not have a happy ending, but that only makes this story even more exceptional. It was an "uplifting" event in every sense of the word:

We, as Jews, are not literally stuck in a hole, but we often put ourselves in a metaphorical one when we don't treat fellow Jews decently. Yet, we can dig ourselves out of it by following a similar approach. Firstly, we'll only improve our predicament when we're able to deal with each other's differences on a consistent basis. Secondly, since good interpersonal conduct is almost impossible to fully master, it will be of infinite benefit to believe that God will help us along the way. By having unconditional faith in God (which can be difficult) and working together as a unique blend of individuals (which is arguably even more difficult), greatness is possible. Once these criteria are met, we will become a people of one heart - just like the Chilean miners.

In other words: trust in God, be good to others, and amazing things will happen.

Are You a Political or Religious Ideologue?

2010-10-17T00:55:00.004-06:00

With midterm elections approaching in the United States, it's a good time to address one of the biggest impediments to improved interpersonal conduct: the belief that someone's political affiliation and/or religious denomination determines whether they are good or bad.

The majority of Jews are liberal, but a distinct minority are conservative. By the same token, the majority of Jews are secular, but a distinct minority are religious (and for some people, their political affiliation has become their religion). These facts are welcomed by some and considered unfortunate by others. Nevertheless, the most significant question is: do we generally judge each other by our actions or ideology? The answer to this question will determine whether we are rigid ideologues or just regular people with a certain political and religious bent. There are good and bad people of all mainstream political parties, and there are good and bad people of all denominations of Judaism. The moment we judge others solely on whether they have a (D) or (R) next to their name, or if they follow Jewish rituals the same way we do, we have allowed ideology to trump behavior.

If you happen to be engaged in a discussion with someone opposite you on the political or religious spectrum, limit your energy to the topic and never engage in personal attacks (which usually reveals a lack of sound arguments anyway). While all good people should be aggressively fighting objective evil, it's quite possible for two equally decent people to fight for different philosophies on the battlefield of ideas. There is nothing wrong with each of us having our own political opinions and ritual customs, as long as they don't lead us to abandon our most fundamental ethical concern: good interpersonal conduct.

An ugly manifestation of both politics and religion occurs when people start judging motives instead of actions. We can't come to the point where if my "team" does something, it's well-intentioned and good, and if your "team" does something, it's ill-intentioned and bad. The results of such an outlook are awful. And this leads to another important point: if we demean our ideological opponents, they will naturally want to defend themselves personally, but if we give them the benefit of the doubt that their intentions are just as pure as our own, they are forced to confront their views. So if you believe that a fellow Jew's political or religious ideas are out of whack, engage in a courteous discussion of the issues - not a demeaning back-and-forth of personal attacks. Otherwise, the debate is meaningless and it's best to avoid confrontation altogether.

Concerning political ideologues, there is an important lesson taught in Pirkei Avot (2:3) about those who run government: "Beware of rulers (i.e. politicians), for they befriend someone only for their own benefit; they act friendly when it benefits them, but they do not stand by someone in his time of need." If we place too much trust in politicians - even if we happen to agree with them on certain issues - we will ultimately be disappointed. As the famous saying goes, "power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely." Politicians typically have only one thing in mind: getting re-elected. Therefore, most of them will do whatever it takes to be on the side of what is most popular (or what sounds good in theory, but ends up being disastrous in practice) just so that they can remain in power.

Concerning religious ideologues, there is an instructive story told of the Baal Shem Tov. He was once traveling on the road when he went into a wooden area to recite the afternoon prayer. His disciples were shocked to see him hitting his head against a tree, screaming and crying. Afterwards, they asked him what had happened. He explained that he had seen, with Divine Inspiration, that in the time before the Final Redemption, there would be a multitude of rabbis - and that they would be the ones who would impede the redemption. How is this possible? When rabbis stop following basic ethical guidelines and instead become technical ritualistic adherents. In other words, don't become like those who believe that everyone has to think and live the exact same way. Rise above such an inclination and allow for differences in thought and lifestyle, all while following the basic ethical precepts outlined by the Torah.

It's too bad that we can't determine whether someone is good or bad solely by how liberal or conservative they are, or by how religious or secular they are. It would make life so much easier. But people are much more complex than that. As a result, the only true measure of a person's goodness is overall behavior (something that is often very difficult to know). Vote how you wish and follow a denomination of Judaism that makes sense to you, but never assume that those who vote and observe Judaism differently have bad intentions. Human beings can judge actions, but motives are known to God alone.

Corruption = Destruction

2010-10-07T19:06:00.007-06:00

Unfortunately, corruption is everywhere. It seems like almost every day there is some politician or religious leader facing such charges. But why exactly is this caliber of crime so evil?

The generation of Noah was filled with what the Torah calls (ironically) Chamas, which is generally translated as violence or corruption. Rashi comments that it specifically refers to theft. This was the straw that broke the camel's back for Noah's generation and why the destructive flood ensued. Nevertheless, it's easy to overlook all the different forms of stealing. For example, the prohibition against theft in the Ten Commandments actually refers to kidnapping. Other forms of robbery include stealing someone's money or property or trust or time - the list goes on - until the ramifications of thievery lead to the worst form of stealing: murder (i.e. robbing another person of their life). In other words, theft is always the final vice that undoes a society because it leads to a lack of respect for other human beings - something that neither God nor civilization can tolerate for very long.

When someone steals from another person, they have taken more than just some physical item - they have also deprived that person of dignity. Just recall your emotions if you have ever been robbed; you probably felt violated and humiliated. Beyond the material damage the criminal has inflicted, they have also caused humiliation to another human being, which Judaism regards as an extremely serious offense comparable to murder. Thus, it becomes easier to understand why the root of a society's downfall is always corruption. Once people have no regard for others and that which belongs to others, society ceases to function.

Another case in point is the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. People falsely attribute their sexual practices as the primary cause of their destruction, but what actually put them over the edge was greed. God is willing to put up with a lot of human frailty, but once people show absolutely no concern for those around them, a civilization forfeits its right to exist. While it's true that we see a lot of corruption in the world today, it doesn't automatically mean the world is going to be destroyed. The ultimate test for a society is not the evil that is done within it (there are always going to be bad apples), but rather how society reacts to that evil. If it's not considered a big deal, we're in big trouble. But as long as it's regarded as ethically wrong, we'll be alright.

Typically, the first Talmudic lesson taught to Jewish children is from tractate Nezikin, which deals with damages, because we want them to understand the importance of preserving other people's property and, in effect, dignity. Still, the best lessons come from our earliest leaders. For example, Abraham attained rightful ownership of a burying place for Sarah by paying an enormous sum, and Moses kept a detailed record of everything that was donated for the Tabernacle. Contrary to the anti-Semitic stereotype, being dishonest with money is antithetical to Jewish values. Furthermore, if someone has engaged in theft, they must return the stolen item (or pay its monetary value) in order to achieve full repentance. In a larger sense, by restoring the material item, the thief is also restoring honor to the victim, and ultimately restoring God-based ethics to society.

One last piece of information should put this all into perspective. According to the Sages, the first question asked of a person after they die is, "Were you honest in your business dealings?" The answer to this question reveals more about a person's character than perhaps anything else. If someone is honest in how they make a living, is generous with what God has given them, and does not take that which God has given to someone else, they are operating their lives along the most fundamental ethical principle: treating others how they would like to be treated. Since this value is the foundation of our existence, staying far away from corruption will also keep us far away from destruction.

Hillel - 2,000 Years Later

2010-09-27T20:29:00.004-06:00

If you could choose only one Jewish figure - past or present - to articulate our values for both the Jewish people and the rest of the world, who would it be? While there are many great choices, you'd be hard-pressed to find a better person than Hillel the Elder. And there is a very compelling reason why: his perspective was second to none.

In perhaps the most famous story in all of Jewish literature, the Talmud (Shabbat 31a) relates an incident that occurred between a non-Jew and the two great sages of the time, Hillel and Shammai. The man first approached Shammai with a strange request, saying, "Convert me to Judaism on the condition that you will teach me the whole Torah while standing on one foot." Shammai forced the man away with a building rod. The man then approached Hillel with the same proposition. Hillel replied, "What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. This is the whole Torah! The rest is commentary. Now, go and study." The man accepted Hillel's response and converted.

Notice the stark contrast between how we generally regard conversion today and what Hillel did back then. Also notice which aspect of Judaism he chose as the foundation of our existence. Hillel focused on bein adam la'chaveiro (the relationship between man and other people) - not bein adam la'makom (the relationship between man and God). In other words, he was explaining that everything in life is predicated upon the ethical - not the ritual. Remember, this is coming from the wisest man of his generation, a man who was deeply concerned about Judaism's ritual laws, a man who had enormous faith in God, a man in whose merit a bat kol (heavenly voice) would even come down to proclaim his teachings as correct! Nevertheless, Hillel's underlying philosophy was neither based upon strict faith nor technical legalisms.

To take this one step further, the Talmud states, "One should always be humble like Hillel and not a formalist like Shammai" (Shabbat 30b). Unfortunately, this does not appear to have taken hold. Although we are supposed to follow the more inclusive, ethical ways of Hillel, why is it that we so often give in to the more exclusive, legalistic ways of Shammai? For example, there are often religious Jews who have trouble dealing with a family member who went off the derech (stopped being religious). At times, some think it is prudent to completely disassociate with that person. This could only occur as a result of a more Shammai-like approach, because I don't believe Hillel would ever consider doing such a thing. Although it is incredibly difficult for an Orthodox family to deal with a child or sibling who is no longer observant, it's not the end of the world. As long as that person remains ethical, they're still connected to the faith.

Unfortunately, the term "religious" has come to denote only one's level of ritual observance. But this is terribly misleading. As important as it is to keep laws such as Shabbat and kashrut, it is even more important to act ethically and decently towards other people. Perhaps it was Hillel's personal experiences prior to becoming a Torah scholar that made him understand the significance of interpersonal behavior. Or maybe it was his keen knowledge of the spirit of halacha rather than the letter of the law that compelled him to form unique ideas. Whatever the case, his actions resulted in increasing goodness in the world - something that cannot be said of those for whom ritual observance is the be all and end all.

It is believed that Hillel passed away in 10 CE (3771 on the Jewish calendar). Thus, this year would be his 2,000th yahrzeit, and a good time to recall his philosophical approach to Judaism and life. Unlike many of today's leaders, Hillel did not merely engage in clever sound bites - he actually lived according to his statements. Not only did he have a profound influence on those who sought his counsel, he also showed others how to improve their character by practically applying the values he espoused into everyday life. While there is so much to learn from a sage like Hillel, it's best to start with his most basic piece of advice: the Golden Rule. As long as our highest value is treating other people decently, we're on the right track.

The world needed Hillel's wisdom in the 1st century.

We need his wisdom even more in the 21st century.

(For more on this topic, there is a great new book by Rabbi Joseph Telushkin titled, Hillel: If Not Now, When?)

Is There Any Hope for Humanity?

2010-09-16T00:58:00.012-06:00

Reading the daily news headlines can easily lead a person to hopelessness. The economy remains in shambles, a large segment of the world is at war with the West, and there is a genocidal regime on the precipice of becoming a nuclear power. It is almost as if the entire world is upside down. Just take the recent cover of Time Magazine, for example. As their leading story, they invoke anti-Semitic stereotypes in claiming that Israelis don't care about peace. To add insult to injury, world leaders have decided yet again to impose the "peace process" on Israel (i.e. guaranteed outbursts of violence by those who will never recognize the legitimacy of the Jewish state). So what exactly is there left to hope for? Well, in both the macro and micro realms of life, there actually are better days ahead - as long as we rely on God and not world leaders.

First, let's deal with a macro example. We just commemorated the ninth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. While 9/11 served as a tragic wake up call for the United States to be more proactive when it comes to radical Islamic terrorism, Osama bin Laden has yet to be killed or captured. This might lead one to believe that there may never be justice served for the thousands of innocent people whose blood he has on his hands. But this will not be so. There was a Torah Code found about 9/11 that might be letting us know that there is indeed hope for the future. In it, bin Laden is named as the agent of destruction and Mashiach (Messiah) as the one who will take revenge. Exactly what this revenge entails, who Mashiach is, and when this will take place is not yet known. However, these two men are more than just individuals - they represent life vs. death and good vs. evil. Perhaps God is providing us with a preview of coming attractions, hinting that evil will have its comeuppance and goodness will reign on earth.

Now, let's consider a micro example. All of us have to deal with people in our day to day lives. Some of these individuals are friendly, while others drive us nuts. Yet, even if you get along with someone, you will eventually be disappointed if you overly trust in them. Unfortunately, human nature is fickle and unreliable. However, you will always have peace-of-mind if you trust in God. As two very instructive verses state: "Cursed is the man that trusts in man" (Jeremiah 17:5); "Blessed is the man that trusts in God" (Jeremiah 17:7). Especially during the High Holidays, it's important to remember that God is the ultimate just and merciful being, and He judges us the way we judge other people. If we generally give others the benefit of the doubt, God will do the same for us. Thus, while it's extremely important to be kind toward other people, our hope and trust should only be in God.

Properly-placed hope is a key element in becoming a good person, as well as a way of producing more optimism in a world that easily creates pessimism:

Being more optimistic will also help in the goal of Jewish unity. If we simply write this off as a dream that can't be realized, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. However, if we each focus on improving our own interpersonal conduct, it might just happen after all.

And with regard to combating hopelessness due to all of today's problems, take solace from four of the greatest words in the English language:

This too shall pass.

Honoring Jewish Victims of Terrorism

2010-09-06T19:24:00.004-06:00

Unfortunately, it often takes death to clarify what is most important in life. All the terrorist attacks committed against Jews in recent years, particularly in the past decade, have bore witness to this statement. From Israel to virtually every other country where Jews live, radical Islamists can't stand our existence and target us. It's peculiar that the Muslim-dominated countries of the world hate one another until they focus on their common enemy of Israel. By the same token, it's also strange that we can't seem to get our act together until we realize there are genocidal regimes that wish to destroy us. While it should never take some extreme predicament to unify us, this appears to be the only way for the message to get across.

Every time I hear about the most recent attack against Jews, such as the Hamas murder of four Israelis last week, I'm extremely saddened and angry. But I'm sick and tired of feeling that way. It's time to act. Aside from obviously supporting those who can militarily stop this evil, any one of us can do something: improve how we treat other Jews. Most of us didn't know these victims well enough to uncover all the different disagreements we would have had with them, but that doesn't amount to a hill of beans. They were our brothers and sisters who died Al Kiddush Hashem (for the sanctification of God's name). In their memory, we owe them something. This was nicely articulated by Devorah in a comment on an earlier post. When spelled in Hebrew, the word Hamas forms an acronym of the following words:

Chasidim
Mitnagdim
Ashkenazim
Sephardim

As she mentioned, if Jewish unity existed, there wouldn't be a need for groups like Hamas. Do we get it yet? We failed to achieve a greater degree of interpersonal decency while the victims of these terrorist attacks were still alive; we owe it to them to achieve some semblance of unity in their death. Obviously, this is extremely difficult because we all have significant disagreements with each other, whether they be personal, political, theological, or about anything else. However, we can overcome our inclination to act indecently toward those with whom we disagree - if we want to. Every time you have a serious problem with a fellow Jew, keep one of our Jewish martyrs in mind. It will put things into stark perspective.

Sadly, it appears as though God is using these terrorists as vehicles through which to create a stronger sense of brotherhood among the Jewish people. As we approach the High Holidays, a time during which we recite Avinu Malkeinu, we express that God is both our Father and King. However, God is only a proud "parent" when His "children" are good to one another. Maybe it will help to remember just how small and unique we really are:

While the video talks about love, what is actually necessary is figuring out a way to tolerate Jews who differ from us. Perhaps love will come naturally over time, but if it doesn't, don't worry. It's more important to act lovingly toward fellow Jews than to feel love toward fellow Jews. From the left-wing Jew living a completely secular life in Los Angeles to the right-wing Jew living a completely religious life in Jerusalem, we are one - whether we like it or not (and quite often, we do not). With all the evil that has been perpetrated against us in recent history, we must understand that we are all part of the same family in the eyes of God. If we fail to receive this message, there is a horrific reminder waiting for us in Iran.

Who Goes to Heaven?

2010-08-31T17:35:00.004-06:00

According to Jewish tradition, who is guaranteed a place in Heaven?

The Orthodox?

No.

The Modern Orthodox?

No.

The Conservative?

No.

The Reform?

No.

How about those on the political Right or Left?

No.

So who exactly will go to Heaven?

Good Jews, and good non-Jews.

Heaven does not know of people based upon denomination or political party - it knows only of God's people, and goodness.

The opening to Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers) states, "Kol Yisrael Yesh Lahem Cheilek La'olam Haba" - all Israel has a share in the World to Come. They base this teaching on the verse from Isaiah 60:21, which references the righteousness of the Jewish people. This is not because we are inherently better than non-Jews; it's only because of God's kindness. God judges all people by their actions, but has graced us with the assurance that we will be rewarded for being His representatives here on earth (as long as we don't engage in one of the extreme sins that causes us to lose that distinction). In addition, all decent and ethical non-Jews will go to Heaven. Our understanding of God is that He is a just and merciful Creator, who will rightly reward anyone for the good deeds they have accumulated during their lifetime.

Unfortunately, the Jewish concept of the afterlife is often misunderstood. In fact, there are many who actually think that Jews don't even believe in an afterlife. However, this is only because we do not overly concern ourselves with it. The next world is not our primary focus because we have so much to accomplish while still in this world. Nevertheless, it's important to remember that the ultimate test for human beings is ethical - not theological. To the best of my knowledge, Judaism is the only major religion which has always maintained that actions determine one's eternal destiny - not theology. It's all about behavior.

However, if all Jews are guaranteed a place in Heaven, what incentive is there to perform any good deeds? The Chofetz Chaim answers this by way of a parable. There was once a wealthy businessman in Russia named Yisrael Brodsky, who employed hundreds of people. He was also a philanthropist who supported many Torah institutions, as well as relatives and community members whose finances had taken a turn for the worse. All the people he supported received a monthly check. One day, Mr. Brodsky came to visit one of his factories. The managers showed him around and introduced him to many of the workers. When Mr. Brodsky approached one of the people (who happened to be a non-working relative) and asked what he did there, the man replied, "I take a check." Everyone broke into laughter. The Chofetz Chaim concluded that such will be the case in the World to Come. Any Jew who claims their share solely because they happened to be Jewish will suffer an eternal embarrassment.

While all Jews have a spot in Heaven, the level of that share is dependent upon what we achieve during our lifetimes. The greater the actions, the greater the reward. The primary message for all of us is to simply do what is right, and God can be trusted to reward us with exactly what we deserve when our time on earth is done. Another lesson is that if Heaven's standards find it unnecessary to distinguish between Jews, then why is it that we so easily separate each other based upon anything other than objective ethical concerns?

Ironically, we can rectify our mistreatment of fellow Jews by more closely following Heaven's guidelines here on earth.

Common Sense

2010-08-25T21:00:00.010-06:00

There is a great story attributed to Rabbi Chaim Soloveitchik. A young man once came to him in order to receive semicha (rabbinical ordination). Since semicha is typically given after the applicant is tested on their knowledge of the Shulchan Aruch (code of Jewish law), Rabbi Soloveitchik began by asking the student to name its five volumes. Figuring this was a trick question, the young man answered, "But there are only four volumes." The rabbi responded, "No. There is a fifth, unwritten volume. It's called seichel (common sense), and unless you know this volume, the other four volumes will not help you at all." The lesson he was teaching this young man can also be applied to anyone engaged in any other area of life: without common sense, a person can have a great deal of knowledge and still be a fool.

The Talmud (Tamid 32a) echoes this sentiment when it states, "Who is wise? One who foresees the consequences of his actions." This is not some sort of mystical explanation; it's actually quite logical. If we desire to become wise, we must understand the effects our actions will have on other people. Consequently, we should not follow the letter of the law if it will lead to the opposite of its intent. For example, the Torah states that it is forbidden to strike one's parents (Exodus 21:15), and it becomes a serious offense if blood is drawn. This might lead someone without common sense to believe that a child can never draw blood from a parent - even to save their life. However, Jewish law permits a child to cause a parent to bleed during a surgical procedure, for example. The Sages base their provision on the verse, "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18). Just as you would want your parent to improve your health even though it involves drawing blood, you must do the same for them if the circumstances ever arise.

A different but related example comes by way of the controversial mosque and Islamic center to be built near Ground Zero. Obviously, the planners have the constitutional right to do so, but just because something is legal doesn't necessarily mean it's good. Or to put another way, just because you can do something doesn't mean you should do it. Often, the only way of deciding whether or not to engage in a specific action is by utilizing common sense. In this case, it would be best if those defending the site (many of whom may even have good intentions) would actually practice what they preach. They claim this proposed mosque is all about reconciliation and tolerance, but all they have caused is division among the American public and intolerance toward those who pose legitimate concerns. Thus, common sense would dictate that they back away from a plan that has already led to the opposite of its stated intent.

It's unfortunate that people tend to overlook the importance of common sense. Human beings desperately need it for their own sake as well as for the sake of others. As the term itself implies, if this character trait would be more common in people, there would be more sense in the world.

The Cure Precedes the Sickness

2010-08-20T01:15:00.004-06:00

Something big is on the horizon. At some point in the near future, someone with moral courage (presumably Israel or the United States) will have to do something. It might happen tomorrow or two years from now, but with every day that passes it becomes even more inevitable. A brutal, hostile and apocalyptically-led country is on the precipice of attaining a nuclear weapon. Iran has made it abundantly clear that they plan to attack Israel first, and then go after America and the rest of the world. While we should obviously support all those who are sincerely trying to stop Iran, there is another issue with which to concern ourselves.

In a prophetic but unclear message from our Sages, the Talmud (Yoma 10a) states that there will be a confrontation between Persia and Rome/Edom, which is understood in modern times as Iran and the West. There is disagreement as to how this confrontation will play out, but that is not what I want to focus on. The most striking thing about this prediction is that it is stated directly opposite Yoma 9b - where the Sages articulate that God allowed the Beit Hamikdash to be destroyed because of sinat chinam (for further analysis, click here). In my opinion, these two passages are connected, just like the pages on which they are written.

Iran's development of a nuclear bomb is an existential threat to Israel and the Jewish people. Similarly, sinat chinam has proven to be an existential threat to Israel and the Jewish people. From the end of the Temple era until this very day, intramural hatred has proven to be a problem so serious that it rivals even the destructiveness of anti-Semitic regimes.

Just as we have to pursue every possible means through which to stop Iran's nuclear threat, we also have to pursue every possible means through which to stop fellow Jews from engaging in unnecessary hatred and division. And just as we are taught that Iran will become a worldwide problem at the End of Days, so too will the Beit Hamikdash be rebuilt at the End of Days. (Just for clarification, this term does not mean the world is going to end; it simply means the world will enter a period of goodness, peace and knowledge of God.)

Perhaps if we correct our age-old problem of sinat chinam, God will take care of Iran's pursuit of nuclear weapons Himself. In other words, if we go out of our way to be good to one another, God will go out of His way to be good to us. In this instance, He could very well eliminate the Iranian nuclear plants via an earthquake or some other seemingly natural occurrence. In any event, what becomes clear is that God desires His children to act decently toward one another. In a strange but beautiful way, a situation seems to be developing in which we can only turn to God and each other. Take everything else away, and this is all we have left.

As the rabbinic dictum goes, the cure always precedes the sickness. However, it's up to us to discover the cure. In this case, I believe the problem is alluded to on Yoma 10a and the answer is alluded to on Yoma 9b. Of course, this is just a theory, but it appears to be a call to our generation: Take care of problems that are within your control (i.e. treat all fellow Jews decently) and God will take care of problems that are beyond your control (i.e. destroy all evil on earth).

If this is indeed the cure, it's time to implement it.

Are Humility and Self-Esteem Contradictory?

2010-08-15T00:40:00.003-06:00

The Chofetz Chaim was once traveling by train to a Jewish community to give a lecture. A man sat down next to him during the trip and started a conversation. When the Chofetz Chaim asked where he was heading, the man replied, "I'm going into town to hear the Chofetz Chaim speak. He's the greatest tzaddik (righteous person) in the Jewish world today." Embarrassed by what he was hearing, the Chofetz Chaim told the man, "People exaggerate about his greatness. I know him very well and he's not that great." The man became infuriated by what he was hearing and slapped the Chofetz Chaim in the face. That night, the man was horrified when he came to the lecture and realized that the person he hit was actually the Chofetz Chaim. As soon as the lecture was over, the man pleaded for forgiveness. The Chofetz Chaim smiled and said, "There's no need for forgiveness - you were defending me. In fact, you taught me a great lesson: my whole life I've been teaching people not to defame others; now I've learned that it's also wrong to defame yourself."

Humility isn't just about acknowledging that which you are not, it's also about recognizing that which you are. Thus, Moses is described as the most humble man who ever lived (Numbers 12:3). Yet, he could have also been referred to as the most courageous or the most compassionate human being of all time. Why does the Torah go out of its way to only mention this characteristic? Given the above definition of humility, it becomes clear as to why this was the case. Moses was quite aware of his weaknesses (including having a speech impediment), but at the same time also understood that his strengths put him in the position to lead the Jewish people. A lesser person would have either failed to acknowledge their weaknesses, or worse yet, would have downplayed the strengths they did possess in order to avoid greater responsibility.

Here's a clip that sums up this issue very well:

As mentioned in the video, humility should never be confused with low self-esteem. Low self-esteem demoralizes people, while humility inspires people to better themselves. Therefore, the true opposite of humility isn't self-esteem but arrogance. Arrogance is the terrible character trait that convinces people they are God's gift to mankind, have all the answers, and don't have to follow the same rules as everyone else. On the other extreme, humility is the character trait that allows us to recognize our weaknesses - as well as our strengths - and cultivates the realization that God created us with a certain set of skills for a reason. For some people, the simple acknowledgment of what they can't do humbles them. For others, knowing what they can do humbles them even more.

Comparing Yourself to Others

2010-08-08T21:04:00.007-06:00

There is a famous story told about the great Chasidic leader, Rabbi Zusia. One day, he was all pale and fearful. "Rav Zusia, what's the matter? You look frightened!," his followers asked. "The other day, I had a vision. In it, I learned the question that will one day be asked about my life." His followers were puzzled. "Rav Zusia, you are so pious, scholarly and humble. What question would you possibly be afraid to answer?" Rabbi Zusia turned his gaze toward heaven and said, "I have learned that the angels will not ask me, 'Why weren't you a Moses, leading your people out of slavery?'" His followers persisted, "So what will they ask you?" Rabbi Zusia sighed, "And I have learned that the angels will not ask me, 'Why weren't you a Joshua, leading your people to the Promised Land?'" Finally, one of the followers demanded, "So what will they ask you?" He replied, "They will say to me, 'Zusia, there was only one thing that no power of heaven or earth could have prevented you from becoming' - they will ask me, 'Zusia, why weren't you Zusia?'"

The moral of the story is obvious: God wants us to be ourselves. If we were supposed to be more like someone else, God would have created us with their personal qualities. Instead, He gave each of us a specific type of personality, along with a certain set of talents, that would enable us to fulfill our individual mission in life. Each one of us has everything we need to succeed in that particular mission, and whatever we don't have yet can be attained through hard work and dedication. Nobody is good at everything, but everybody is good at something. We should simply develop whatever skills we do have to the best of our ability, and not worry about what someone else is doing. If we truly inculcate this value, jealousy will slowly cease to exist.

Unfortunately, human nature makes us believe that the grass is greener on the other side. Perhaps we think that another person's marriage is better, or their physical appearance is more attractive, or they have a better financial situation, or are smarter than us - the list is endless! To ponder such things is a waste of time, not to mention a complete exercise in futility. There is another famous Chasidic tale which states that if everyone put their troubles into a hat - and had to choose between their own and those of others - everyone would choose the ones they already have. It's important to remember that all people have problems, whether physical, financial, interpersonal or otherwise. Consequently, if you think someone else's life is perfect, that only shows you don't really know them.

So how can we stop comparing ourselves to other people? Rashi's commentary on the words "U'vo Tidbakun" - "And to Him shall you cleave" (Deuteronomy 13:5) provides us with a possible answer. Rashi states that the only way a human being can cleave to God is by emulating His characteristics. Just as He performs kind deeds, so should we; just as He buries the dead (as in the case of Moses), so should we; and just as He visits the sick (as in the case of Abraham), so should we. In other words, our actions should only be compared to those of God - not other people. Because, ultimately, God only wants you to be [insert your name here].

This Law Can Change Your Life

2010-08-03T17:40:00.003-06:00

There are certain laws we all have to follow - such as paying taxes - that will not necessarily make us better people. However, there are other laws - when properly understood and implemented - that can change our lives. One of those laws is expressed in the Talmud (Bava Metzia 58b), which unfortunately is known by few and practiced by even fewer. It states:

"One is not allowed to ask a storekeeper the price of an item if he knows he will not purchase it."

I put the last part in bold to emphasize the point of this law. While there is nothing wrong with comparison shopping, there is everything wrong with stealing someone's time. In addition, we cannot falsely raise a person's hopes (in this particular case, those of a storekeeper or an employee working at a store). Keeping these two approaches in mind, there are many different ways to apply this law in everyday life. Here is a video that sums it up very well:

As mentioned in the video, beholding to the spirit of this law keeps a person ethical and honest. But above everything else, it builds character in an individual as well as goodwill between individuals. In a world filled with people who are unethical and dishonest, we need this law to be observed now more than ever. Contrary to those who like to rationalize that the ends always justify the means, our Sages teach us that the means matter significantly. Whether we are dealing with a clerk at a gas station or someone in our personal lives, we must always remember that they are human beings created in the image of God who deserve the same kind of courtesy we desire for ourselves.

Actions Matter More Than Thoughts

2010-07-30T00:33:00.004-06:00

In our day and age, there is an underlying philosophy that feeling good is more important than actually doing good. In a similar vein, there are those who believe that thoughts and actions are equally significant. This couldn't be further from the truth. I recently stumbled upon a touching documentary called The Way We Get By, which beautifully illustrates why actions are much more important. Here's the trailer:

The film is about the Maine troop greeters - a group of senior citizens who gather every day at a local airport to thank American soldiers departing and returning from war. Even though some of these people had personal problems or doubts about the wars in which these soldiers were fighting, they still did the right thing by being there when the troops came home. These individuals understood that doing good (i.e. actions) must override personal objections (i.e. thoughts). If only more people would follow their example.

A passage we recite all the time illustrates this point in a different way. We say in the daily Shema, "v'lo taturu acharei l'vavchem v'acharei einechem" - "and you shall not stray after your hearts and after your eyes." Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch provides a very insightful understanding of this phrase. The cantillation mark on the words v'lo taturu is an azla geiresh, which literally means "to go and drive away." This teaches us that when evil thoughts "arrive," don't allow them to resonate, but rather "drive them away." In other words, we're not responsible for all the random thoughts going through our minds, but we are responsible for any bad behavior that comes as a result of dwelling on those thoughts.

A different but related lesson is taught by the nineteenth-century Chasidic rebbe, Rabbi Moshe Leib of Sassov. Given that Judaism is a monotheistic faith that frowns upon atheism, he was once asked why God would create human beings with the capacity to deny His existence. Rabbi Moshe Leib responded that people who have absolute faith might ignore a person in need of help and think, "God will surely take care of them, so I don't have to do anything." Therefore, it's important to have some people who instead think, "maybe there is no God, and only I can help them." Believing that God will help everyone with their problems is terrific, but not if we rely on such a thought to free ourselves from action.

As human beings in general, and as Jews in particular (after all, we're a very opinionated people), there are inevitably going to be times when bad thoughts about other people pass through our minds. As long as we quell those thoughts at the source and do not allow them to negatively influence our behavior, our interpersonal relationships can still thrive. When all is said and done, actions are what ultimately matter. Your private thoughts are between you and God, but your public actions are between you, God and everyone else.

How to Deal with People You Don't Like

2010-07-25T17:32:00.004-06:00

If you don't particularly get along with a fellow Jew, you know what that shows? You're human.

But if you then feel entitled to treat that person like dirt, you know what that shows? You're indecent.

That's what we need to correct right now more than ever. You don't have to change your denomination of Judaism or your political affiliation in order to be a more decent Jew. You only need to engage in good behavior toward all the people in your life (this could obviously extend to non-Jews as well). It's not the end of the world if we disagree with one another, but if we therefore don't regard each other as equal human beings, it is the end of the world. In order for society to function, individuals have to maintain a certain decorum around those with whom they do not get along.

We don't necessarily have to go out of our way to hang around people we don't like. In fact, depending on the situation, it could exacerbate the problem. We just have to treat those people as decently as possible when we are around them (e.g. on the street, at a wedding, bar mitzvah, etc.). Prepare yourself for these situations and you will react much better. For instance, see to it that you acknowledge their existence and say hello - or if they say hello first, politely respond. If you happen to have an unresolved problem with them, you don't have to pretend like everything has been magically fixed - but if the issue comes up in conversation, simply state your case in a kind manner. Be clear but courteous.

Another possible situation that we may encounter is when our personal enemies need help. For example, if you are walking out of the grocery store and see two people who dropped their groceries - one person you get along with and the other person you do not - our Sages (Bava Metzia 32b) derive from Exodus 23:5 to help the person you don't like first. Notice how the Torah understands human nature - certain people will inevitably have trouble getting along with others. However, the Torah also teaches us how to deal with it - we must demonstrate that God-based goodness means more to us than personal vendettas.

The bottom line is this: while it may be natural to harbor less than pleasant feelings toward fellow Jews every once in a while, we cannot allow ourselves to act upon those feelings. Just because we personally don't get along with someone does not mean that they deserve to be treated poorly - or worse yet, embarrassed and humiliated. As long as we do our best to follow the Torah's basic code of interpersonal conduct, we'll be alright. God doesn't expect us to be perfect angels, but He does expect us to be good people.

Transforming Sadness Into Joy

2010-07-19T21:11:00.006-06:00

It's enough already. We have experienced way too much sadness throughout our existence. It's time to truly transform Tisha B'Av from a day of mourning to a day of joy. And there's only one way to achieve such a lofty goal. We must learn from our troubled past in order to merit a promising future. That means hearkening back to the original incident that began our precipitous downfall, the destruction of the Beit Hamikdash (Holy Temple), and our current exile. As seems to be the case quite often in Judaism, it all began with food.

The Talmud (Gittin 55b-56a) states that there were two men in Jerusalem, Kamtza and Bar Kamtza. When a prestigious man made a great feast and invited all the leaders of Jerusalem, among them was his good friend Kamtza. However, the messenger made a mistake and inadvertently invited Bar Kamtza, who happened to be the host's enemy. When the host came and saw Bar Kamtza sitting there, he asked him why he was present. Bar Kamtza replied that he was invited, and since he was already there, he wished to remain so as not to be embarrassed. He even offered to pay for anything he ate or drank. The host refused. Then Bar Kamtza offered to pay for half the feast. The host refused again. Then Bar Kamtza offered to pay for the entire feast. And yet again, the host refused and ordered Bar Kamtza to be physically thrown out of the banquet hall.

Bar Kamtza thought to himself that since there were many Torah scholars present who remained quiet, they must have agreed with what had transpired. In disgust, he sent a message to the king that the Jews were rebelling against him. To show that he was telling the truth, Bar Kamtza told the king to send a sacrifice to the Beit Hamikdash (which was allowed) and see if they sacrifice it. So he sent a sacrifice through Bar Kamtza, but along the way Bar Kamtza made a small cut on the animal (which would disqualify it). When Bar Kamtza brought the sacrifice to the Sages, they said that even though the animal was blemished, it should nevertheless be sacrificed for the sake of peace with the Roman empire.

However, one Torah scholar named Rabbi Zechariah ben Avkulas dissented by arguing that people would think it was acceptable to offer a blemished sacrifice. Therefore, the Sages ruled that Bar Kamtza would have to be killed so that he could not report back to the government that the sacrifice was refused. But Rabbi Zechariah again dissented by arguing that people would think that anyone making a blemish on a sacrifice would be killed. After caving in to these misguided priorities, Roman attacks ensued. The rest is history. Many years later, Rabbi Yochanan said that because of the zealousness of Rabbi Zechariah ben Avkulas, the Beit Hamikdash was destroyed and we were exiled from our land.

In summary, what all started with one instance of indecent treatment toward a fellow Jew led to that person denouncing his people to the Roman emperor, which then led to poor rabbinic decisions (i.e. favoring technical legal details above common sense), which finally led to the destruction and exile. In order to undo this, we have to correct the problem at its source. The only way we can possibly merit the Final Redemption is by redeeming ourselves first. In other words, just as Jewish history reached its lowest point when hatred and dissension became ubiquitous, we will witness our greatest days when good behavior and common sense become ubiquitous.

Our Sages taught us that every generation in which the Beit Hamikdash is not rebuilt, it is as if it was destroyed. However, they are actually giving us a bit of motivation. Every time you have the opportunity to act indecently toward a fellow Jew and don't, you're literally contributing to the rebuilding of the Beit Hamikdash. God wants to redeem the world, but He needs us to do one thing, and it really isn't all that much to ask: become better people. Simply heed the words of Micah 6:8 - do what's right, be kind, and remain humble. Really, that's it. Let's get back to basics and correct this problem once and for all. When we succeed, Tisha B'av will be transformed from a day of commemorating our greatest tragedies to a day of celebrating our greatest triumphs.

Jews: The Underdogs of History

2010-07-14T22:10:00.003-06:00

Last week, the Colorado Rockies were losing to the St. Louis Cardinals 9-3 in the bottom of the ninth inning. For those of you who may not know much about baseball, it's almost unheard of to overcome that kind of deficit before recording the final three outs. Yet, the Rockies cut the lead to 9-4, then 9-7, then tied the game 9-9. And with two men on base with two outs, they hit a walk-off three-run home run to win the game 12-9. Going into the inning, it looked so bleak that most of the hometown fans, and perhaps even some of the players, thought the game was basically over. But before the night was done, they beat the odds and won the game, in one of the greatest one-inning comebacks in Major League Baseball history.

This got me thinking about what other remarkable events could occur when an underdog works together to get a job done - even when almost nobody else believes it could actually happen. Given all the terrible events that have transpired throughout the generations of Jewish existence, I think it's appropriate to label ourselves as the preeminent underdogs of history. Although we have experienced some of the most horrific evils, we're still here. Any other group who had to go through anything comparable would have ceased to exist - but we have always survived. We owe that to God, as well as to the Jewish values of faith, education and perseverance. In some mysterious way, and for reasons beyond the scope of human intellect, God is orchestrating a fantastic finish to the "game" known as history.

Teamwork is a crucial component for the success of any group. All players on a given team don't necessarily have to love each other in order to win. They just need to be respectful of their teammates, fulfill their roles to the best of their ability, and not interfere with the positions played by others. The most successful teams are the ones who are able to put their petty differences aside for the sake of winning a game. In our case, it's more than just a game - it's about working together for the future of our people, and indeed, the world. Every single Jew has been "drafted" by God, as it were. Thus, hurting fellow teammates would make absolutely no sense because we'd be hurting our own chances for success as well. For the sake of God - and each other - we need to work as a team. Then, we'll be able to prove everybody wrong one more time.

During this period around Tisha B'Av, when we are in the midst of mourning the loss of the Beit Hamikdash (Holy Temple), we must focus on improving our interpersonal relationships. Even in the darkest hours of Jewish history, we have always maintained that God will ultimately redeem the world and bless us with peace. In addition, our tradition tells us that the Final Redemption will happen suddenly, perhaps miraculously, and somehow make sense of all the suffering throughout history. This culminating event will be of benefit not only to Jews, but to all humanity. Unlike underdogs in sports, we have an additional piece of information to keep us motivated: it's not a matter of if - it's only a matter of when. And if we work as a team, it will happen sooner than you think.

The Anonymity of the Internet

2010-07-09T01:53:00.004-06:00

The Internet is simply amazing. It can be used to spread useful information, connect with family and friends, or even for shopping. However, as with everything else in life, it can also be used for bad. Instead of getting into a never-ending discussion about the vices and virtues of the Internet, I wanted to focus on a very specific aspect: anonymity. All you have to do is peruse some of the anonymous comments on YouTube, certain political blogs or news sites to understand the extent of the vitriol some people feel compelled to write. As civilized people in general, and as Jews in particular, we should never engage in such indecent behavior. Even while remaining anonymous online, we are accountable for all of our actions.

This is not to say that Internet anonymity is a bad thing - it is simply meant to say that using anonymity as a way to hurt another person is wrong. Interactive media (including blogs) are a great means through which to express an opinion and get feedback. They're also great because people tend to be more direct when writing a comment or stating a position when it can't be traced back to them. However, we must be cautious - not only with the spoken word, but also with the written word. We shouldn't stop being decent human beings just because we're behind a computer screen or cell phone. Even when you are passionate about a certain issue, you can state your position without resorting to viciousness. Never forget - when people begin personal attacks, it's simply an acknowledgement that their arguments lack merit.

I'm always impressed when people courteously disagree. To do so takes some sincere effort and practice from both parties involved. Getting courteous feedback from people who agree on a given issue is fine, but that's easy. We don't usually have to work on the way we act toward close friends or ideological allies. However, we usually do have to work on the way we act toward people we don't particularly like or who hold political or religious positions that differ from our own. Hopefully, we will overcome our inclination to act out against those individuals. But during those instances when we are thinking about giving in to our lower natures, a specific excerpt from Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers 2:1) might help put things into perspective:

"Consider three things and you will not come into the grip of sin: Know what is above you - a watchful Eye, an attentive Ear and all your deeds are recorded in a Book."

This quote provides many lessons, such as developing an awareness that even when people are not looking, all of our actions matter. It also teaches us that there is ultimate reward and punishment. Sometimes justice is seen in this world and sometimes it is not. However, either in this world or the next, every evil deed will be punished (unless there is repentance) and every good deed will be rewarded. Whether we are interacting with people face-to-face or posting something online or talking or texting on a cell phone, a basic code of ethical conduct must always be followed. Although we might be able to hide our true identities from human beings, we're never anonymous to God.

"Spiritual" Leadership

2010-07-04T21:12:00.004-06:00

Once Moses came to terms with the fact that he would not enter the Land, he placed his primary concern on the future of the Jewish people. Therefore, Moses asks God to appoint the next leader, in which he addresses Him as "God of the spirits of all flesh." And after God responds that He has already decided that Joshua would be that man, God refers to Joshua as "a man in whom there is spirit." Of all the different ways Moses could have addressed God, and of all the different ways God could have addressed Joshua, why is there so much talk about "spirits"? Rashi's explanation for these references provides us with important insights that are just as applicable today as they were thousands of years ago.

Firstly, no two people are exactly alike. Everyone has an individual "spirit" - i.e., unique approaches to different issues. Even if we personally disagree with them, it's important to allow others the freedom to express these perspectives. Part of why we are so unique as a people is because we are not a monolithic group. As David Ben-Gurion correctly observed, where there are two Jews, there are three opinions. So when Moses was making reference to the "God of the spirits of all flesh," he was talking about God's knowledge of the intricacies of each person's unique views and personality.

Consequently, a leader is needed who understands how to treat each person according to their own "spirit." A true leader is not someone who engages in nepotism or disregards those who disagree with him. While it would have been completely understandable for Moses to incessantly push for his own son to be the next leader, he cared more about the right man leading the Jewish people. Joshua was chosen because God knew that he was a man who had the ability to tolerate - and therefore lead - a diverse group of twelve tribes.

Unfortunately, many of the religious and political leaders of today do not meet the above criteria. They often go out of their way to quiet others. They often engage in appointing people to positions of authority because they are friends or relatives - not because they are the most qualified. And perhaps more than anything else, they often have trouble putting their egos aside for the sake of successfully leading those around them.

In other words, the Torah's approach to leadership brings to light what many of today's leaders would rather keep in the dark.

A Secret about the End of Days

2010-06-29T20:34:00.004-06:00

As we begin the three weeks between the 17th of Tammuz and Tisha B'Av (the period on the Jewish calendar when Jerusalem was besieged and the Beit Hamikdash destroyed), it's particularly important to focus on how we act toward other Jews. This is because the reason given by our Sages for why these terrible events were allowed to happen was sinat chinam, intramural hatred. We should always keep in mind that the difference between the words גולה, exile, and גאולה, redemption, is an "א", which represents אחדות, unity. Just as one letter can change the entire meaning of a word, we have the power to change the entire course of history if we improve our treatment of one another.

Although divisiveness among the Jewish people is nothing new, there have been many telling incidents as of late. Most notably, secular-religious tensions in Israel have reached a boiling point. From last summer's contention over state stipends for married students to this summer's current contention between rabbinic rulings and secular court decisions - there are plenty of Jews who are passionate on both sides. While each of us is free to hold our own opinions on these issues, we must nevertheless treat our ideological opponents with dignity and respect. Society starts to fall apart when people go out of their way to rile up more divisiveness.

How does this all tie into the End of Days? It is generally - and correctly - understood that there will be many surprising and world-changing events preceding the Final Redemption. While it's important to keep on top of the news and observe God's hand in current events, it's also important to keep on top of our own problems. In other words, instead of simply observing what's happening around us, we should think about - and act upon - what we can do to improve our predicament. Yet, as human nature dictates time and again, it's always easier to blame everything that happens on outside forces.

Are the Obama administration's positions against Israel problematic? Absolutely. Is the world basically allowing radical regimes, such as North Korea and Iran, to advance their nuclear programs? Of course. But will God ever allow the Jewish people to be annihilated or the State of Israel to be wiped off the map? Absolutely not. So what should be our primary concern? Removing sinat chinam from amongst ourselves. It might sound petty at first glance, but God's concern for how we treat one another runs much deeper than most people realize.

We have gone 1,940 years since the Beit Hamikdash was destroyed. And while it's totally understandable to point fingers at different local and world leaders, as well as various secular and religious figures, we are losing sight of how to correct this problem once and for all. How will we finally do so and merit the arrival of Mashiach Ben David, the rebuilding of the Beit Hamikdash and the God-given peace that will be enjoyed by everyone? By understanding a secret about the End of Days, in which there is both good news and bad news.

First, the bad news: We are our problem.

Now, the good news: We are our solution.

It's important to remember that the Talmud (Yoma 9b) goes out of its way to tell us that the Jews of the Second Temple era learned Torah - but destruction came anyway; they observed mitzvot - but destruction came anyway; they even engaged in acts of kindness - but destruction came anyway. So what was so bad? In the scheme of things, all of the above are worthless unless they are consistently accompanied by good treatment of fellow Jews (whether we ideologically agree with them or not, and whether we personally like them or not). Until we fix this, we cannot merit the Final Redemption. Perhaps the mystically-ordained date will come when God decides the redemption must take place, but we will not have earned it. With every day that passes, we are getting closer to that final date - at which time we can no longer merit the redemption under our own volition.

Let's make haste.

Let's earn it.

Unite, or Die

2010-06-24T18:03:00.005-06:00

I bet that title got your attention. The phrase comes from a famous editorial cartoon by Benjamin Franklin that was published in the Pennsylvania Gazette in 1754. It depicted a wood-carved snake broken into separate pieces, which represented the disunity among the early American colonies. Originally written as "Join, or Die," it called for uniting the colonies against the French during the French and Indian War. In 1765, it was changed to "Unite, or Die" as a rallying cry against the British.

Perhaps we can use this sort of sentiment to address the disunity among the Jewish people. Before we are liberal or conservative, religious or secular, we are all Jews. And whenever we decide to primarily focus on what divides us rather than what unites us, we are in serious trouble. Given the catastrophic results of what happens when we do not cooperate with each other, we have to learn from our history. Holding true to each of our individual customs and philosophies is fine, unless it leads to deliberately hurting fellow Jews.

It's interesting that the symbol used in the cartoon is a snake. While the snake is most notable for causing Adam and Eve to sin, it was also the symbol (nachash hanechoshet, the copper serpent) used to cure those who were injured in the wilderness. Like virtually everything else on earth, it has been used for both good and evil. Let's use it for good. In addition, let's look for the good in others instead of what they lack. Whether we like it or not, we are all different parts (Ashkenaz, Sephard, Chasidic, etc.) of the same whole (the Jewish people). Thus, when any part begins to separate from another segment, everyone suffers the consequences.

Hopefully, a call such as "Unite, or Die" can serve a stark reminder to get our priorities straight. As long as the descriptive word that comes before "Jew" (e.g. Orthodox, Modern Orthodox, etc.) doesn't lead us to treat that person any less decently, we will be alright. For our enemies, simply mentioning the word "Jew" has the ability to galvanize evil, but it should have that same kind of capacity to unite us for good. We have it within our power to end intramural hatred and the indecent behavior that often accompanies it. We just need to give it our best effort. Allowing this kind of hatred to foster is an option we can't afford to take.

As former President Ronald Reagan once said:

"I do not believe in a fate that will fall on us no matter what we do. I do believe in a fate that will fall on us if we do nothing."

Laughter is the Best Medicine

2010-06-20T00:03:00.005-06:00

There is way too much pain, suffering, death and destruction in the world today. While it's easy to become incredibly frustrated when hearing about all these sad stories in the news, it's also important to develop an ability to laugh at current events. From the mass condemnation over Israel's flotilla response to the unbelievable amount of appeasement directed toward Islamic terrorists, many things going on in the world today are truly absurd. The clever satirists from Latma have taken this to heart, producing some great sketches that have been making the rounds lately. In case you haven't seen two of their best, they're well worth watching.

"We Con The World":

"The Three Terrors":

May we find the courage to fight our enemies - and laugh at them - until evil is vanquished and goodness reigns on earth.

Does It Matter What Other People Think?

2010-06-15T18:07:00.005-06:00

As a general rule, we should not concern ourselves with what other people think of us. However, it depends on the situation. In the micro (i.e. our personal interactions), we should do our best to not incur a marat ayin - putting ourselves in circumstances where our actions could easily be misconstrued as engaging in something ethically or ritually wrong. For example, if you need to use a restroom and the closest one available is at a non-kosher restaurant, you can use those facilities. But it should still remain a last resort because of the easy misunderstanding that you're going there for a meal.

In the macro (i.e. our worldly interactions), we should keep the same principle in mind - but only to a point. There is an obvious double-standard when it comes to how Jews in general, and Israel in particular, are treated by the "international community." For example, the United Nations has a long history of biased resolutions against Israel. Whether they're condemning the flotilla response or just using the old "occupation" critique, the only true occupation is the world's preoccupation with Israel. Therefore, it would be counterproductive at best - and suicidal at worst - for Israel to overly concern itself with what the world wants. Although it can be difficult at times, Israel must do its best to ignore the incredible amount of scrutiny placed upon it and simply protect itself.

In ancient times, when Moses sent spies to scout the land, the spies reported back that the people who inhabited it were giants. Furthermore, they claimed to be like grasshoppers in their eyes (Numbers 13:33). According to the Rebbe of Kotzk, the spies' inordinate amount of concern for how others viewed them was the root of their sin. Instead of concerning themselves solely with their divine mission, they cared about how they were perceived by the giants. The lesson we can draw from this is that while we must always be ethical, law-abiding individuals, there must also be a keen awareness that we don't ultimately answer to a government institution or the United Nations. We are accountable for all our actions to God alone.

Whenever possible, we must uphold both the highest ethical standards and clearly display what we are doing to others. However, as long as what we are doing is just and right, we can't care about what other people think. As mentioned above, this is especially the case with regard to Israel's security. If it were up to the world-at-large to determine the best course of defense for Israel, there would be no more Israel. Therefore, while it's enticing to care about good publicity, it's more important to care about good deeds.

As the famous Psalm goes, "wisdom begins with fear of God" (Psalms 111:10); notice how it doesn't talk about fearing human beings. We simply have to find the delicate balance between being a good example in public and, at the same time, not drive ourselves crazy with how others might misinterpret what we are doing. Popularity is fine, but it can't be the highest value. God-based goodness must always be of greater concern.

In other words, whenever there is a conflict between what other people think of you and what God thinks of you, choose God.

The Difference Between Tolerance and Acceptance

2010-06-10T00:34:00.004-06:00

In our day and age, the terms "tolerance" and "acceptance" have become interchangeable. This is a terrible development because it has led to different groups imposing their way of life on others under the guise of tolerance. Here is the basic difference that has been lost:

Tolerance - the capacity to disagree with someone or something, but put up with it anyway

Acceptance - the act of approving someone or something

While we must be able to tolerate those who differ with us, it doesn't mean we have to accept their opinions or way of life. The only exception to this is when it comes to basic ethical standards. For example, tolerating murder, theft, or physical abuse will lead to the moral dissolution of society. However, we have to allow others the freedom to form their own views on the more subjective areas of life. Overall, tolerance is a virtue - and perhaps the most difficult to inculcate.

The Hebrew word for tolerance is sovlanut, which is derived from the word sevel, meaning to suffer. Since Hebrew is known as Lashon Hakodesh, the holiest of languages, the words have deeper meaning. In this case, the message is pretty straightforward: we must be able to endure a certain amount of discomfort in order to tolerate views with which we disagree. There is a similar Hebrew word, savlanut, which means patience. This may be providing us with another suggestion: we must be patient when dealing with people whose views we believe are wrong.

A rather trivial example of how we can put this into practice comes by way of how we each pronounce Hebrew. Those who use the Asheknazi custom will pronounce the Hebrew word for Sabbath as Shabbos, while those who use the Sephardi custom will pronounce the same word as Shabbat. Although you might personally believe that only one variation is correct, this would be a classic case of where we must tolerate those who hold a different view.

On a more serious note, there are some very significant political stories unfolding. Just recently, Helen Thomas decided to retire after being caught on video making blatantly anti-Semitic comments. In case you have been under a rock the past few days, here's the video:

Apparently, she would rather force everyone to accept Arabs living in "Palestine" than tolerate any Jews living in their biblical homeland of Israel. The implication, of course, is that we should all go back to the ovens. In response, both Lanny Davis (a liberal, and former White House Counsel for President Bill Clinton) and Ari Fleischer (a conservative, and former White House Press Secretary for President George W. Bush) were united in strong opposition to the anti-Semitic sentiments of Thomas. Unfortunately, this provides a case in point that if we don't unite under our own volition, we will be forced to do so by those who wish us ill. Let's hope and pray we only have to deal with more verbal attacks - not terrorist attacks.

Now on Facebook

2010-06-06T18:11:00.006-06:00

I've decided to take the advice of my readers and created a page on Facebook. Here it is: Lev Echad.

I'm still pretty new to all this, so please bear with me as I try to make the page more dynamic. However, if you like what this blog is trying to accomplish, you can help by drawing more people to this issue. Whether you are religious, secular, liberal, conservative, Ashkenaz, Sephard, or any other type of Jew - we need you. Remember, the dream of Jewish unity (i.e. treating each other as decently as possible) can only happen if we want it to. Goodness begins at the individual level, but if enough people see fellow Jews working on their interpersonal relationships, the trend will grow.

While it's easy to get caught up in the enormity of the task, focus instead on this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

Is God Sending Us a Message?

2010-06-01T18:11:00.004-06:00

A few days ago, I saw a news headline about some ships setting sail to get past a Gaza blockade. I didn't have to read any further to know that Israel would be blamed, no matter what would eventually happen. A few days later, the world response to the flotilla attack came: completely insane, but also completely predictable. What is Israel supposed to do, let Hamas rearm? The flotilla was used as a tactic of the poorly named "Free Gaza Movement," but how about freeing Gaza from terrorist control, first?

With all the evil taking place on earth - including genocides in the Congo and Sudan - the world still focuses on every slight detail regarding Israel's affairs! The flotilla incident is only the most recent example. When Israel decides to build 1,600 apartments in east Jerusalem, the world can't contain their fury. But when there is a systematic killing of millions of innocent Congolese or Sudanese, the world is silent. Why? Because the world wants to focus on Jews - not good and evil. The world has been, currently is, and always will be fixated on us. We didn't ask for this role, but we find ourselves in this position nonetheless.

Although God doesn't speak to us with words, God does speak to us through events. The tough part, however, is deciphering what those events mean. While nobody knows exactly why God allows certain events to happen, I thought of something we might be able to learn from this episode (and others like it): Just as these activists went out of their way to provoke Israel in order to get a sympathetic response from the world, we can learn from this that we should never go out of our way to provoke fellow Jews just to get a sympathetic response from those with whom we agree. If we personally believe that someone possesses erroneous political or religious views, the wrongness of their positions will be revealed over the natural course of time. Using backhanded tactics to deliberately make someone else look bad reflects more on the person using them than on the object of their attacks.

In other words, if we stop provoking and hurting each other (via sinat chinam, lashon hara, and other bad character traits), God will bring about circumstances in which our enemies will stop provoking and hurting us (via flotillas, rocket attacks, and other terrorist-related plots). It's as simple and as complicated as that. In the best case scenario, we will become better people and merit God-given peace. In the worst case scenario, we may not merit God-given peace, but will still become better people.

Either way, it's worth a try.

The Ultimate Sacrifice

2010-05-28T00:46:00.003-06:00

In honor of Memorial Day weekend, I wanted to express gratitude to all the men and women - including many fellow Jews - who have died in service of the United States. If not for the ultimate sacrifices of these brave people, evil would reign on earth. As Tehilim eloquently puts it (Psalms 97:10), "Ohavei Hashem Sinu Ra" - those who love God must hate evil. The only reason we are able to enjoy freedom is because of those who heeded this call and risked their lives on behalf of total strangers.

While it's easy to forget all the good that the American military does around the globe, just imagine what the world would look like if not for America's involvement in fighting everything from Nazism to radical Islam. It's also easy to forget all the service members currently deployed overseas, but we should do our best to keep them close to our hearts and in our prayers. Here is a touching video honoring the American armed forces (and if you pay close attention, there are a couple snapshots of the IDF as well):

Sometimes, few words are necessary. Just music and pictures.

The Importance of Jewish Differences

2010-05-23T17:37:00.005-06:00

Every individual Jew plays an important role. Whether you are a teacher or rabbi, doctor or lawyer, businessman or stay-at-home mom, there is a place for all of us among the Jewish people. It's important to acknowledge that there is more than one way to serve God. Sadly, many people scoff at those who differ with them instead of recognizing their positive contributions to Jews and the world. When we get caught up in our ritual or lifestyle differences, tension and divisiveness becomes inevitable. But when we focus on our common code of ethics (i.e. how we treat one another), our chances greatly improve at overcoming our different philosophical approaches to Judaism and life.

Quite frankly, we're not all supposed to be doing the same kind of work or serving God the exact same way. The Chofetz Chaim was once approached by a successful businessman who decided to scale down his business so that he could dedicate himself to Torah study. The Chofetz Chaim explained why his decision was wrong by way of a parable: During wartime, if a soldier unilaterally decides to leave his current post to fight in a different capacity, he will be court-martialed. A soldier must obey orders and man the position to which he was assigned. The Chofetz Chaim went on to say that this businessman's responsibility was to support Jewish institutions and the poor. If he decided to go through with ending his business success, he would be jeopardizing the position God gave him within the Jewish community.

Unfortunately, some religious Jews believe that doing nothing other than Torah study is the only noble thing anyone can do. This couldn't be further from the truth. While religious study is extremely important, it cannot be the primary task of every person. And people should not feel less than noble just because they engage in a different form of work. In fact, this was also the case thousands of years ago. Every one of the Twelve Tribes of Israel carried out different jobs. Some engaged in commerce or working the fields, others in religious study, and yet others in military or temple service - and all were essential to the survival of the nation as a whole. Today, as well, we must train ourselves to recognize the importance of every Jew - no matter what they do for a living (as long as they're ethical while doing so).

The twelve tribes were our ancestors who stood unified at Mount Sinai. While it's obviously difficult to replicate their unity in purpose, it is possible to replicate their unity via our behavior. Throughout the generations of exile, we might have lost some of our authentic traditions (and therefore developed different customs), but we must never forget our calling as God's representatives for ethical monotheism. We recently celebrated Shavuot, the time during which we received the Torah from Mount Sinai. Let's recall the togetherness our ancestors were able to achieve back then and prove our sincerity to God once again by treating fellow Jews with respect. If Jewish unity could merit the divine gift of the Torah, just imagine what we could achieve if we were to unite once again.

Vivid Anti-Semitism

2010-05-18T00:39:00.002-06:00

It might say 2010 on our calendars, but after watching the woman in this video you could swear it was 1938 (just substitute Nazism with radical Islam):

Unfortunately, these kinds of anti-Semitic sentiments are all too common on college campuses today. Nevertheless, the clarity this woman provided is invaluable. When our enemies talk about their grievances with Israel, they're not necessarily talking about the land itself or those who currently reside within it as citizens. They're talking about Jews. The underlying message for all of us - whether we live in America, Israel or elsewhere - is that when we decide to separate ourselves based upon petty differences, our enemies will proudly step in to remind us that we are all "infidels" in their eyes.

Why is it so easy for them to act indecently toward us, and yet it is so hard for us to act decently toward each other? Here is an example of what I'm talking about: Charedim Riot in Jerusalem. What on earth is going on? Once people resort to vandalism, their cause is delegitimized. It's not the end of the world to disagree on a particular issue, but it's terribly destructive to mimic our enemies by responding with violent outbursts. We have plenty of people who wish to destroy us; we don't need to destroy ourselves.

George Washington's 110 Rules

2010-05-13T19:04:00.007-06:00

I recently stumbled upon a list of 110 rules of civility followed by the first President of the United States, George Washington. The entire list can be found here: George Washington's Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation. The original document was written in an older version of English, so it may sound a bit odd. Many of the rules seem trivial or even silly, but I wanted to share some of them because the overall idea is extraordinarily important. Just try to take in the general message, since it's impossible to incorporate all these at once. Here are some of the highlights (note: many of these guidelines for interpersonal conduct are rooted in the Torah):

- Treat everyone with respect

- Be considerate of others; never embarrass another person

- Don't draw attention to yourself

- When you speak, be concise

- Do not argue with your superiors; submit your ideas with humility

- When a person does their best and fails, don't criticize them

- When you must give advice or criticism, make sure the time, place and manner are appropriate

- If someone corrects you, let it go; if you were wrongly judged, correct it later

- Do not make fun of anything important to others

- If you criticize someone or something, make sure you are not guilty of it yourself; actions speak louder than words

- Do not be quick to believe bad reports about others

- Associate with good people; it's better to be alone than in bad company

- Always allow reason to govern your actions

- Never break the rules in front of your subordinates

- Some things are better kept secret

- A person should not overly value their own accomplishments

- Neither detract from others nor be overbearing in giving orders

- Do not go where you are not wanted; do not give unsolicited advice

- When two people disagree, do not take one side or the other; be flexible in your own opinions

- Do not correct others when it is not your place to do so

- Do not compare yourself to others

- Be careful when talking about something until you have all the facts

- Do not pry into the private affairs of others

- Do not start what you cannot finish; keep your promises

- Do not speak badly of those who are not present

- Show interest during a conversation

- Don't allow yourself to become cynical

George Washington was obviously meant to be the father of the greatest country ever devised by man. As someone who placed paramount importance on how he treated others, he was quite worthy of establishing and leading a place where all people would be treated with respect. If only we could heed his call for true civility, there would be less divisiveness - even when we disagree on significant issues. It's too bad the city bearing his name (i.e. Washington, D.C.) has become a pejorative, because I have a feeling George Washington would not approve of what passes for political and social discourse these days.

Personal and Financial Hurt

2010-05-09T20:31:00.004-06:00

When the Torah expresses the prohibition to not hurt other people financially, the verse begins with the statement, "When you make a sale to your fellow...do not aggrieve one another" (Leviticus 25:14). In addition to the plain meaning that it is forbidden to cheat anyone in business, the opening words imply that when we do business, we should try to be a patron of a fellow Jew. This is not a form of ethnocentrism - it's just more practical to help those closest to us first. The greatest form of charity is not fulfilled by simply giving money to someone struggling financially, but rather by enabling them to make an honorable living (i.e. giving them business). As the famous Chinese proverb goes, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." Thus, if you need to shop for groceries and have the choice of either going to a supermarket or a local store owned by a member of your community, go to the latter. Even if you have to pay a little more, it will be considered a charitable act by God.

A few verses after prohibiting financial hurt against others, there is an apparent redundancy when the Torah mentions, "Each of you shall not aggrieve" (Leviticus 25:17). A similar phrase is used with regard to business conduct, but this prohibition refers to not verbally hurting others in our personal relationships. More specifically, this is a reference to avoiding lashon hara (evil speech), which includes gossip and slander. It is forbidden to remind people of troubling times in their past (especially when they have done their best to overcome those obstacles) or to give people bad advice. Although an individual might think that they can get away with committing one of the above infractions and hide their malicious intentions, the verse continues with "and you shall fear your God." Human beings might have the ability to judge behavior, but God has the power to judge a person's motives.

Both of these ethical precepts seem equally significant in our day-to-day lives. The Sages teach, however, that as bad as it is to hurt someone financially, it is even worse to hurt someone personally. While money can be repaid, the embarrassment experienced by someone who has been hurt is much more difficult to undo. This is also the case from another perspective. While financial success can easily come and go, the acts of kindness we do for others will always remain. These days, since virtually everyone around the world has been affected by the failing economy, it provides us with a great opportunity to realize what is most important in life. Of course, it's only natural for "making a good living" to be high on our list of priorities, but it should pale in comparison to the importance we place upon doing good deeds for others: